Season X: Independence Day
by NMI123
Summary: Steve is informed that his job might not be as secure as he had once thought, so he and Laura head to a 4th of July party in the hopes of getting back into the company's good graces. However, things never go as planned when an Urkel attends a party. (Thanks for the support! Looking forward to reading many reviews!)


Laura and Steve had been married for exactly two months on July 1st, 1999. It was a Thursday so they both had to work, but Steve had big plans for the evening of their two-month anniversary, especially since they both had Friday and Monday off for the holiday, meaning they had a four-day weekend to celebrate. He had wanted to surprise her with an impromptu trip, but she caught him planning and scolded him for spending too much money.

"Two months is not an important anniversary," she had said.

"Two months being married to you is a very important anniversary," he had argued. "It's practically a miracle we've made it this long."

"You spent way too much money on our one-month anniversary," she had said.

"But you love your diamond necklace!" he had argued, pointing to it on her neck at that very moment.

"I do," she had conceded, "but you can't keep spending money like this, Steve. We're supposed to be saving. Don't you want to buy a house one day?"

"Of course, I do! I'm gonna build you that house on Lake Michigan you've been dreaming of, my queen," he had promised, standing from the desk and grabbing her hips to pull her closer.

"Then we need to save. You can't blow all of our money spoiling me," she had pouted.

"But I love spoiling you, and you love being spoiled," he had reminded her.

"Promise me you won't spend a dime on our two-month anniversary," she had insisted, folding her arms across her chest.

"I can't even buy you flowers?"

"No."

He had taken a deep breath and sighed. "Fine," he had agreed. "I won't spend more than nine cents."

She had laughed at his corny joke and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Good," she had said, kissing him. "Thank you."

Steve couldn't get that interaction out of his head, and he didn't want to. He had to continuously remind himself of the promise he had made or he knew he would stop on his way home and buy her something far too extravagant. Sure, in his eyes, she was worth every penny, but he didn't want her to be upset with him, and she did have a point. That necklace he had bought for her had nearly wiped out what they had saved since moving into the apartment. He couldn't keep spending like that and get them where he wanted them to be in a few years. More importantly, he knew that Laura was never going to be willing to have a baby with him until they had quite a few pennies tucked away. So he had kept his promise that anniversary. He had searched everywhere for something he could by with nine pennies, but didn't find much of anything. Instead, he took the pennies on his lunch break on that very day, and he melted them down in one of the labs at work where he placed them into a mold he had made the day before. He just needed to wait for the metal to cool. It was there that his boss found him.

"Urkel, what are you doing?" Harold asked.

"Oh, Dr. Ford, I'm on my lunch break," he explained.

"I know that, but what are you doing?" the tiny man repeated in annoyance.

"Oh, I'm just making my wife an anniversary present," he explained

"With company materials?" he asked.

"Well, kind of…" Steve answered.

Harold's face contorted in distaste. "Urkel, I'm gonna have to write you up for this," he said firmly.

"But–"

"Oh, relax, Harry!" Wes shouted as he walked into the lab from behind them. "Hey, Steve," Wes said, extending his hand.

"Hi, Wes," Steve replied, shaking it.

Wes turned to Harold. "So, Harry, what's the problem here? What did my protégé do to upset you so?"

Harold was flabbergasted. "Oh, well, he… Uh… He's using company equipment to make a present for his wife!"

"Oh, Laura?" Wes said, turning to Steve. "How is Laura?"

"She's good, Wes," Steve smiled uncomfortably. He really liked Wes, and he appreciated the special attention he always got from the man way, way, way upstairs, but he also knew how much it upset Harry. While Wes was the best part of Steve's work life, Harry was the worst. He knew that Wes saving his heinie now would only make things worse in the long run. Still, they had come this far. "Today's our two-month anniversary," he explained, "and she said I wasn't allowed to spend money, so I had to make her something."

"Oh, isn't that sweet?" he said. He turned back to Harold. "Isn't that sweet, Harry?"

"Well, I suppose, but–"

"But Harry's right, Steve," Wes said, turning back to Steve. "You shouldn't be making personal projects on company time.

"Well, it's my lunch break," he explained.

"Oh," Wes said as his eyebrows furrowed. "Then what's the problem, Harry?" Wes asked.

"Well, he's using company materials."

"Hm… Well, the burner's gonna work just as well when he's done," Wes reasoned. "What are you making it out of, Son?"

"Well, she told me I couldn't spend a dime," Steve explained, "so I melted down nine pennies, and I'm making her a locket."

"Oh, now that's just adorable," Wes boomed. He turned back to Harold. "Isn't that adorable, Harry?"

"Well, what about the mold?" Harry pressed. I don't think any of our projects are going to say…" he paused and leaned forward. "Laura hearts Sleeve?" he read in confusion.

"It's an inside joke," Steve explained.

"Adorable!" Wes repeated. "What'd you make the mold out of, Steve?"

"It's a clay mold that I fired in the kiln," he explained, "but I brought the clay from home."

"Why?"

"So I didn't have to steal your clay."

"Doesn't that ruin the nine pennies joke?"

"Nope," he smiled. "I made that from stuff I found in our kitchen."

"Huh," Wes said. "You see, Harry? You just gotta let Steve explain himself sometimes." He patted Harold on the back. "Now, can I have a minute alone with my favorite employee?" he asked.

"Of course, Sir," Harold grumbled, heading back to his office. On his way, he kicked a trashcan.

Wes looked back at Steve. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" he asked.

"Oh, well, Laura and I were going to celebrate our anniversary by having a little weekend-in at the apartment."

"Well, what are you doing on the 4th?"

"We're supposed to go over to her parents' house that afternoon for a barbecue, but I'm hoping we can cancel. It is a special occasion, after all."

Wes nodded. "How 'bout this? You spend Friday and Saturday in. You visit her parents for an hour or so on Sunday. Then you come to my 4th of July barbecue that evening and spend Monday alone together again?"

Steve's brow furrowed. "Oh, Wes, that's really nice, but I couldn't possibly do that." He leaned in closer. "If Harry found out, he'd put me back on the pee project!"

"But you already solved the pee project," Wes said. "I know. I've been making tons of money on 'Fido's Fire Hydrant Relocation Spray!'"

"Yeah, but now we're working on one for cats," Steve said, leaning in secretively.

"Feline Fido's Fire Hydrant Relocation Spray?"

Steve nodded gravely. "And no offense, but that doesn't sound like the most thrilling project I've ever worked on."

Wes nodded. "All right, well, what if I just invite Ol' Stick-in-the-mud?" he asked. "Then could you come?"

Steve shrugged. "Well, I'd have to check with Laura, but I don't see why not."

"Good," he said. "Then that's what I'll do."

"Wait," Steve said, stopping him in his tracks. "You may also have to invite a few other people at my level so it doesn't look too suspicious."

"Ok," he nodded. "I can do that."

Steve paused. "Why do you want me there so badly?"

"Well, I'm still trying to get Andy to warm up to you," he admitted.

Steve nodded. "That's sweet, Wes, but don't worry about it. I've worked for lots of people over the years who've hated me."

"The thing is, Steve, he wants to get rid of you," Wes explained.

"He does? Why?" Steve cried.

"Well, you know, we've had a few accidents in the lab since you've been here…"

"In the name of science!" Steve stated confidently.

"Yeah, well, Andy just isn't sure that you're worth the trouble since all you've put out is anti-pee spray."

"Hey! That was a tough nut to crack!"

"It was! It had been on the docket for four years, and you knocked it out of the park in four weeks. Andy is just unconvinced."

"Well, won't my contract protect me?"

"Not at this point, Steve. You've broken enough stuff that we can call it a rightful termination."

"I see," Steve said sadly, glancing down at the locket he was making for his beautiful, trusting wife. How could they possibly afford their apartment just on Laura's salary? And what on Earth would they do when she went back to school?

"Relax, Steve," Wes said, reading his expression. "We're gonna fix this. I promise."

Steve nodded as Wes walked away, and he returned to his project.

When Steve came home that evening, he did his best to tuck his problems away for the moment. He wanted to enjoy their two-month anniversary as if it were their last because a tiny, self-conscious part of him thought it would be if he couldn't afford to take care of her. He slipped his key in the door and went inside. "Sweetums," he called as he entered.

"Just a sec, Steve," she replied from the bedroom.

He nodded and walked in. He set his briefcase down and inhaled deeply. Something smelled amazing. He followed his nose to the kitchen and peeked in the oven. A chicken was roasting in there. That smelled lovely, but it wasn't _the_ smell. He checked in the pots on the stove. Bingo! Boiled squid!

He heard the sound of heels clicking behind him and turned to look at Laura. "Whoa, Mama!" he cried. She looked like she was ready for the red carpet. She wore a cream-colored dress with a flowery, laced-pattern. It was skin tight, short, and low cut. Her heels, a rose gold, were several inches high and needle thin. She was wearing deep burgundy lipstick and the diamond necklace he'd bought her the previous month. He took a few steps toward her and reached for her hips. He pulled her body into him and relaxed slightly now that he'd proven she was really there. It wasn't all a dream. "Look at you," he whispered, looking into her deep brown eyes.

She smiled up at him. "Happy anniversary," she whispered, leaning close to kiss his cheek slowly and softly, leaving a large, lip-shaped stain behind.

"Happy anniversary, my pet," he purred. He pulled away from her and took her hand to spin her around. He whistled. "Yowza… Are you sure you wanna stay in?" he asked. "I kind of want to show you off," he said, stepping up behind her and running a finger down her spine, much of which was exposed thanks to the low back of her dress.

She smirked and turned back to him. "Like you'd let anyone else see me in a dress this revealing?" she joked.

"Like you'd let me tell you what to wear?" he challenged.

"Good point, but I already started the squid, so we're in for the night," she said, stepping away from him to open the oven.

"So, my little Martha Stewart, what made you so domestic today?"

"It's our anniversary," she said, leaning forward to check the chicken.

"But it's only our two-month," he reminded her as he stared at her big butt while she was bent over. "And I wasn't allowed to spend any money, but I find it hard to believe that dress is just something you dug out of your closet because I think I would have remembered it, and I know we didn't have a whole chicken and squid waiting in our fridge."

"I said _you_ weren't allowed to spend any money because you spent enough for six months of anniversaries last month. I was allowed to spend a little because I'm more responsible with our money," she explained.

"You have me so whipped," he said with a shake of his head.

"Hm. Well, who knows? Maybe that's what I bought you for your present. Up for a little role reversal?" she teased.

His eyes widened and his knees gave out. He grabbed the counter behind him to avoid collapsing.

She smiled back at him. "Dinner's almost ready," she said gently. "Why don't you go set the table?"

He nodded silently and went to do just that.

They finished dinner and went straight to bed, leaving the clean-up for Friday. Laura put on a sexy nightie, and Steve ravaged her again and again. By midnight, they were officially exhausted. Laura was lying on top of Steve, having just finished riding him, and she was looking down at him, dreamily. "That was amazing," she whispered.

"You're amazing," he countered.

"Not as amazing as you," she cooed.

His arms were wrapped around her, and he was holding her against him. "You did all the work."

"One out of four times," she countered.

He smirked proudly. "I did do pretty well, didn't I?"

"Yes," she giggled, leaning down to kiss him. "You were amazing… And you made me come so many times, Baby," she whispered.

"How many?" he asked.

"You weren't counting?" she teased.

"Darn right I was," he corrected firmly. "Tell me anyway."

"Seven," she purred.

"And a half," he added.

She giggled and rolled her eyes. "Happy anniversary, Baby."

"Happy anniversary, my love," he replied.

She climbed off of him and lay down on his arm. He stroked her hair. She yawned and kissed his chest a few times. "We forgot to do presents," she said eventually.

"That little nightie wasn't my present?" he asked.

"It was one of them," she said, "but I have another." She sat up and grabbed his shirt from the floor. She slipped on his dress shirt and buttoned it as she walked into the living room. When she returned, she was holding a tiny purple bag. She climbed back into bed and handed it to him as he sat up to rest against the headboard.

"Can I shake it?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered. "You won't be able to break it."

He shook it hard and listened carefully. He didn't hear much of anything. He stuck his hand in the bag and pulled it out. It was a single wallet-sized shot of Laura on their wedding day. She was smiling brightly as she looked out of the hotel window over the city. It showed her from her knees up, showing off her dress. Her dress framed her hips and her cleavage. She pressed one hand against the window, allowing her engagement ring to sparkle in the light. She looked like a princess. His eyes widened. That was a professional photo. He looked back up at her. "Is this one of our wedding photos?"

She nodded and bit her lip.

"Our photos are here?!"

"Yes," she said, "but I hid them."

"What? Why?"

"Because I wanted to save them for tonight," she replied.

"Well, where are the rest?" he asked.

She shook her head. "You can look at them tomorrow," she said.

"No fair!" he cried.

"It's late, and I want us to have something to do in bed tomorrow. We're gonna be home all day, right?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Oh, Baby, we're gonna have plenty to do in bed! I promise."

"Besides that," she giggled.

He nodded and frowned, looking down at the photo in his hand. "Have you already gone through them all?"

"No," she promised quickly. "No, I just opened the box to peek. That one was on top. I got this idea, pulled it out, and closed the box. It will be a surprise for both of us," she swore.

"Ok," he nodded. He leaned forward and kissed her. "Thank you so much, my beautiful bride. I love it."

She smiled. "I'm glad."

He set the photo on his nightstand and leaned over the bed. He pulled his pants onto his lap and dug in the pocket. "Now, my present's not wrapped because I wasn't allowed to spend any money," he explained. He glanced at the bag that was still sitting on the bed. He held the locket in his fist and slipped it quickly into the gift bag. "There," he said, handing her the bag.

She laughed and shook her head as she slipped her hand inside. She pulled out the locket, and her jaw dropped. "Cheater!" she cried.

"What?"

"I said you couldn't spend anything," she said, holding the shiny locket closer to her face. "Oh, my God. You even got it engraved," she scolded. "Steve!" she said, looking back at him. "You can't spend money like this! I know we were teasing earlier, but this really isn't ok."

"You said I couldn't spend a dime," he said. "That cost me nine cents."

She furrowed her brow at him. "How?"

"I made it," he explained.

"Out of what?!"

"Nine cents," he answered. "I melted some pennies."

She looked at him speechless. "You didn't," she said eventually.

"I did," he answered.

"What am I gonna do with you?" she asked, shaking her head at him.

"Whatever you want, Babycakes!" he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

She smiled brightly and kissed him. "Happy anniversary, Steve," she whispered, cuddling up against him.

He smiled softly and stroked her back as she relaxed on his chest. "Happy anniversary, my sweet. I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied, yawning. "Goodnight."

Steve reached over and turned off the lamp. "Goodnight."

When Laura woke up the next morning, she was all alone. She looked at Steve's side of the bed and frowned. Where had he gone? She glanced at the bathroom. The door was wide-open, and the light was off. She climbed out of bed and headed toward the living room. She opened the bedroom door and slipped outside. She heard noises in the kitchen and saw Steve as the kitchen came into view. She tiptoed up behind him and grabbed his butt.

"OOooooOOOooOO!" he cried, giggling as he jumped. His leap into the air sent the egg he was flipping right behind him, slapping Laura in the face.

Her jaw dropped as she stood there with egg on her face, literally. She wiped some of the loose yolk away as Steve slowly turned back to face her.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he said, looking down at her guiltily.

"Good morning, Butterfingers," she said, glaring at him.

He reached forward and wiped the rest of the egg off her face. When she was clean again, he leaned in and kissed her. "Sorry, my pet," he said as he released her lips.

"That's ok," she said, squeezing his arms. She took the pan from him and cracked another egg as he began to clean up the floor. "So what happened to spending all morning in bed?" she asked as she began to tease the edges of the egg with the spatula.

Steve stood after cleaning the floor and tossed the egg remains into the trash. "Well, you need to fuel up before I can wear you out," he explained, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She laughed as he came up behind her and began to kiss her neck. "Ok," she agreed. "We can have a little breakfast, and then we can head right back to bed," she suggested.

And they did just that. They didn't find themselves back in the kitchen until lunchtime. They were both still disheveled and barely dressed. Laura sported only Steve's button-up and Steve wore only a robe over his boxers. Since they'd had their own place, they had spent several full days trying to break their all-time records in bed, but it was all still new and exciting to them. It wasn't until that evening, after dinner, that they had exhausted themselves enough to remember what they were supposed to do that day. Laura grabbed the box of photos and pulled out their wedding album. They had a copy of each print, but their wedding album only contained the best. As they flipped through each page, they reminisced about their favorite parts of the wedding. The pictures began with both the men and the women having breakfast that morning and continued as they got ready.

"Oh, you looked so beautiful that morning, Laura Lee," Steve whispered as he was captivated by her appearance during the short period of time he was away from her that weekend.

"Thank you, Steve," she said.

"I wish I could have been there to see you get ready," he said.

She leaned closer to him. "That's not how it works," she reminded him.

"I know," he admitted. He gasped as he turned the page. "Laura Lee Urkel," he scolded as he stared at a picture of Laura hiking her dress up to reveal her garter for the camera, "that was supposed to be for my eyes only."

"Oh, relax, Steve," she said, turning the page again. "It was just a little leg."

"Maybe, but _you've_ got a whole _lotta_ leg, Missy!" he argued.

Suddenly, a picture caught her eyes. "What's that?" she asked.

"Those are our rings, my love," he answered simply, not understanding why she was confused.

"No," she said. "There are words on it."

"Well, yeah, Pet, your ring is engraved."

"It is?" she asked.

"You've never read your ring?" he asked in disbelief.

"I've never taken it off," she explained with a shrug. "Have you read yours?"

"My ring's engraved?" he gasped.

Suddenly, Laura burst into laughter. "Oh, my God, this could only happen to a couple of Urkels," she giggled.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you?" she argued, still laughing.

He gawked at her as she continued to laugh. She took a deep breath and finally got herself under control. "Ok," she said. "Count of three."

"One."

"Two."

"Three," they finished in unison as they slipped off their rings.

"To my star," Laura read. "Aw," she cooed as she thought back to the first time he had given her her engagement ring. "It's like trying to touch a star. You know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying," she quoted him softly.

He glanced up from his ring and smiled softly at her. "I can't believe you still remember what I said."

"I'll never forget it," she promised.

He leaned forward and kissed her. Then he returned his eyes to his ring. "Laura, my pet?"

"Yes, Steve?" she asked as she slipped her ring back on her finger, noticing how weird her hand now felt without it.

"You wrote… Well, it says… I'm just surprised that you chose…"

"I give up," Laura finished for him.

"Yeah," he said looking at her. "I just kinda expected something a little more… romantic?" he admitted.

Laura smiled at him haughtily. "You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?"

"Ha!" she laughed. "I don't know how many moments in our relationship we'll ever find that meant more to me than they did to you, but apparently we found one!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your first date with Myra," she answered.

"What?"

"We double-dated," she reminded.

"No, I know that, my love. I was with Myra, and you were with that bozo, Ted, but what does that concert have to do with this?" he said, gesturing to the ring.

"You stopped the concert to declare your love for me, and it was mortifying," she explained.

"I gathered that. You nearly killed me after," he mused.

"But I still remember what you said, and looking back on it, that night means a lot to me," she said.

"Oh, yeah? I said a lot that night, my pet. What was it that tugged at the ol' heart strings?" he asked curiously.

Laura reiterated, "Well, again, at the time, absolutely nothing about that moment did anything for me. I was so mad at you for embarrassing me like that!"

"And now?"

"And now," she continued, "I think about the man who loved me so much, he couldn't even kiss another woman. He loved me so much that he interrupted a live concert to promise himself to me. He loved me so much that he wrote spontaneous poetry and made Dave Kos play back-up!" She laughed at that one.

"Yeah," Steve nodded, "and he put that one on his next album, and all I got was a stinkin' writing credit! I should have gotten a percentage of those sales!"

"He loved me so much that he didn't even dream of me telling him that I loved him, just that I gave up," she continued. "That's why I put those words on your ring, Steve. I do love you. I love you with all of my heart. You know that, but we wouldn't be here without all of those crazy stunts you pulled over the years. You were so persistent that, eventually, I _did_ just give up."

Steve smiled and slipped his ring back on. That was a pretty good answer. He kissed her softly. "And I am so glad you did," he whispered, turning the page to continue looking through their album.

"Oh, look at you," Laura cooed on the next page, seeing a picture of Steve standing at the altar. "You look so nervous."

"I was!" he agreed. "I was a wreck!"

Laura smiled and turned a few more pages, revealing a picture of each member of her family walking down the aisle, until they finally got to her. There were two pictures, side-by-side. One was of her and father just as the doors opened; the other was of Steve the moment his eyes landed on her. Laura couldn't tear her eyes away from that photo. "You look so happy," she said softly.

He looked at her. "My dream was coming true right before my eyes," he explained. "That can make a guy pretty happy." Steve stared at the photo of Laura walking into the church. "You look pretty darn happy yourself," he said.

Laura leaned her head against his shoulder. "I was," she whispered. "I am," she added, kissing his cheek softly.

Steve giggled girlishly as her lips pressed against him, and he turned the page. Several pages later, they made it to Myra. Steve's brow furrowed. "Oh, my God. Why'd they take a picture of her?" he asked

Laura laughed, "Hey, it was a significant part of the ceremony. I'm glad they documented it."

Steve shook his head and continued, flipping through their vows, their rings, and the kiss. Steve gasped softly; he had never seen himself kiss her before. Thanks to that mirror in the bathroom, he'd seen himself do other things to her, but never that. Never the thing that had made her fall in love with him.

Laura looked at him. "We look pretty good together, don't we?" she asked with a smile.

"I've never looked better!" Steve cried. "But you've got some geek glued to your lips, Sweetheart," he joked.

She laughed and elbowed him. "Stop," she insisted with a wave of her hand.

They flipped through the next section of posed photos of them in the church alone, with the bridal party, and with the whole family. They flipped though the pictures of them alone in the courtyard, captivated by each shot. Eventually, they got to photos of the reception and all the way to their very last dance of the night. Then they closed the book. "Wow," Steve said.

Laura smiled at him. "Those turned out great," she said.

"They did. Luckily, the bride was so beautiful," he purred.

"Hmm… And the groom was _so_ handsome," she purred back, stroking his cheek and grabbing his chin.

"Aw, shucks…" he blushed, looking away.

Laura smiled at his bashfulness and took the book from the bed. She set it on the nightstand and turned back to him.

"Hey, wait!" he said. "I wanted to look at those ag–"

Suddenly, he was silenced by Laura's lips as she climbed on top of him again. She moved down to nibble on his neck and paused to look him in the eye again. "What was that, Steve?" she asked innocently. "What did you wanna do?"

"Never mind," Steve croaked. "Never mind. This is good. Oh, this is _real_ good. Let's do this."

She giggled and kissed him before they made love again.

When they were finally ready to sleep, Steve turned off the light and embraced his wife. The only problem was, he couldn't sleep. He had put off this conversation longer than he should have, and the guilt was beginning to eat away at him. He rolled away from her, turned the lamp on his nightstand on again, and sat up.

Laura rolled over to look up at him. "What's up, Steve?" she asked through a groggy voice.

"I have to tell you something, my pet," he said.

Laura sat up, pulling the comforter with her to keep her covered, and leaned against the headboard. She turned to face him. "What's wrong, Honey?" she asked, placing a hand on his back and rubbing in slow circles.

He kept his eyes facing forward so he didn't have to look at her when he told her this. "We have to go to my boss's 4th of July party on Sunday."

"But, Steve, we're supposed to go to my parents' house."

"I know," he nodded. "We can go there first, but the CEO invited me, and we have to go. It'll look bad otherwise."

Laura sighed and shrugged, "Ok, so we'll go. No big deal. My parents will understand." Laura continued to stare at him. He looked so distraught over something so tiny. "Relax, Steve. This is nothing to get upset about."

"I might lose my job, Laura," he said eventually.

Laura gasped, and her eyes widened. "What?" she asked in disbelief.

"Wes wants us to go to the party to win Andy over because he wants to fire me."

"But you have a contract!" she countered, hoping that her good friend, the law, could save them.

"I broke it, apparently, when I… broke everything else," Steve sighed.

"Have there been that many accidents?" she cringed.

Steve shrugged. "No more than my usual."

"But your usual's a lot," she said.

He nodded, still avoiding her eyes. "I'm so sorry about this, Laura Lee," he whispered. "I've been trying so hard for you, but my best just isn't good enough."

Laura moved closer to him. "Hey, hey, hey," she interrupted. "That's not true. Your best is more than enough for me," she promised.

"Laura, if I lose this job, we won't be able to stay here. At least, not when we go back to school," he reminded her.

"I realize that, Steve, but you haven't lost anything, yet. Wes invited you to this party for a reason. We'll go, we'll keep the accidents to a minimum, and Andy will fall in love with you, ok? You know it takes some time for you to grow on people."

"What if it takes Andy fifteen years like it took you?" he asked. "We don't have that much time to wait."

"Hey, it didn't take fifteen years for me to be able to tolerate you being in my life. It took fifteen years for you to get in my pants. You don't need Andy to like you that much," she joked. Steve laughed and snorted, almost setting her mind at ease. "Frankly," she continued, "I'd be concerned if he did."

As his laugh faded, Steve's face fell quickly. "I wish I could be a better husband for you," he whispered.

"What?" she asked. She grabbed his chin and forced him to look her in the eye. "You are a _wonderful_ husband, Steve. You'd be a wonderful husband even if you lost this job, which we aren't gonna let happen," she promised him. "You love me. You make me feel loved. You spend time with me. You make me laugh. You're romantic. You're giving. You're kind to me. You make love to me. I don't need anything else, Steve."

"You mean it?" he asked.

"Yes," she promised. "We'll figure it out."

"I love you so much, Laura Lee. You're my rock."

"I love you, too, Steve," she whispered, before leaning in to kiss him.

"Can we not tell anyone else about this?"

"It's just between us, Steve," she promised. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"I didn't wanna ruin our anniversary," he explained.

"You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

He nodded. "I know, Bunny Ears. Thank you for listening."

"Thank you for sharing," she replied before lying down again, still facing him. He lay down beside her and kissed her one more time before she rolled away. They spooned as they fell asleep.

Saturday, they spent in bed, just like they had planned, ignoring the problem. When Sunday rolled around, Steve was slow to get out of bed. Laura had predicted his oncoming depression and tried to compensate by putting a little extra pep in her step. She got up early and made breakfast. She had expected Steve to rush out of bed as soon as he noticed she was gone, but that didn't happen. When breakfast was done and on the table, she had to go get him. She was surprised to find his eyes were already open when she got there. "Good morning, Honey," she sang as she sat beside him on the bed. She stroked his cheek and tickled his chin. "I made breakfast."

He smiled softly. "You didn't have to," he said, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

"I wanted to," she explained. She leaned down and kissed his forehead before hopping up. "Ok. Let's get a move on," she instructed. "We don't want it to get cold."

Steve frowned. "Why don't we do breakfast in bed, my pet?" he suggested.

"Nope!" she said. "You're getting out of this bed right now," she ordered. She tugged the comforter off of him and onto the floor.

"Laura…" he whined, reaching down to cover his private parts as they were exposed to the cold air and harsh light.

"Now," she commanded.

He stood and slipped his boxers on as she handed them to him. Then he put on his robe and followed her out to the table. He sat down, and then she sat right in his lap. His hands came up around her and began to play with the belt on her silky robe. "I'm sorry I had to be so strict," she said, "but you can't lie in bed all day because you're upset."

He nodded. "I know you're right," he said, "but I feel like a much better husband in there than I do out here."

Laura smirked as she had an idea. "Well, if you wouldn't mind letting your breakfast get cold, I might have a way to fix that."

His eyes widened. "I wouldn't mind," he said immediately.

She climbed off of his lap, to his disappointment, and walked over to the window. She pulled down the blinds and closed them. As very little light was now in the room, she walked over to the overhead lights and turned them on. She went back to the table and grabbed Steve's hand. She tugged him over to the arm chair and pushed him into it. She sat in his lap again, this time straddling him, and began to kiss him. His hands moved immediately to her butt. He pinched it, and she squealed into his mouth. "Mmmm!"

He pulled his lips back and laughed and snorted at her reaction. "You like that, Babycakes?" he asked, pinching her butt again.

"Oo!" she jumped with a giggle. "Yes," she purred, leaning down to kiss him again.

He did it again, causing the same little jump and noise, and laughed again. "I like it, too!" he exclaimed.

She giggled and shook her head at him before leaning closer to him. "I think we can find something even more exciting to do, don't you?" she suggested before kissing him.

His hands went immediately to the tie on her robe and yanked it open. He pulled the robe from her shoulders, allowing it to puddle around her on his lap, and he pulled away to look up at her. She was completely naked. His jaw dropped. She smiled at him as he placed his hands back on her butt and squeezed. He rolled his tongue at her, and she giggled. She leaned in to kiss his neck, and he moaned softly, "Laura Lee…"

"Mmmm…" she moaned back as she kissed him and opened his robe. She knelt higher above him, lifting her breasts up to his face, as she began to tug on his boxers, lowering them just below his member. She sat back down on his naked lap as he held onto her and leaned forward to slip his boxers the rest of the way off. He tugged her robe off of his lap and tossed it to the ground. Then he pulled her close and kissed her passionately. She quickly lifted herself higher, pressing her breasts into his face again as he happily began to kiss them. "Oh, Steve," she purred as his lips began to suckle on her nipple. "Mmmmmm… That feels so _good_. You are _such_ a good husband," she encouraged with a soft smile.

He looked up from her breast and watched her sweet face as she did her best to cheer him up. One hand was holding supporting back as his free hand moved down to stimulate her clit.

She gasped softly as he began to stroke it. "Oh, Baby…"

He stood suddenly, with her in his arms, and moved to the couch. He laid her down on it and climbed on top of her. He kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts, her navel, and after ravishing her for a long, long time, he finally arrived back at her womanhood. He slipped two fingers inside of her as he began to kiss her mound, slowly making his way to her sensitive button. He licked it softly.

"Ooooooo," she whined, stroking the back of his head.

He began to suck on it, and he moaned against her, "Mmmmmm…"

"OH, STEVE!" she called. "Yes, Baby! Right there!" she encouraged as he began to suck on her clit while his fingers slipped into her again and again, stroking the other side of her most sensitive spot.

He broke the long kiss he was giving her womanhood to check in. "You like that, my love?" he whispered.

"YES, STEVE!" she yelled in encouragement. She pushed on the back of his head, urging him to get back to work. "Don't stop," she panted. "Baby, please, don't stop."

He continued to eat her out until he felt her thighs squeezing his ears and heard her breath stop. She went completely silent for a moment as she teetered on the edge, moaning loudly as she finally let go. "Oh, Steeeeeeeeve…"

He happily licked her juicy entrance again and again as her breathing began to slow. Soon, he propped himself up and climbed back on top of her. He kissed her soft lips hungrily. "Mmmmmm…" he moaned. When he pulled away and looked down at her smiling face, he couldn't help but giggle. "You are such a naughty girl," he whispered.

"Why's that?" she asked with a grin.

"You're only supposed to make noises like that in the bedroom," he said.

She laughed and swatted at him playfully. "Shut up," she giggled.

"Mm, Baby, I don't care how naughty you are or where you make those noises as long as you only make them for me."

She shook her head. "You already know I do," she purred.

"I know," he replied, moving his member to her entrance.

"Wait," she said, placing a hand firmly on his chest. "You don't want me to go down on you first?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nuh-uh," he answered, pushing his head inside. "Oh, God, Laura, I just want to show you what a good husband I am," he purred.

"Oh, Steve," she moaned as he slid in further. "OH, BABY, go ahead and show me."

He began to slide in and out of her wet womanhood, sliding in deeper each time. It wasn't long before he was all the way inside of her. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. "Mmm… Mrs. Urkel," he purred, sliding in and out again. She giggled as he continued to slip in and out of her deepest depths. "I love you, Babycakes," he whispered in her ear.

"I love – OH, GOD! – I love you, too, Steve!" she called as he sped up. Laura reached between them and began to play with her clit. He grabbed her hands and pinned them above her.

"Don't touch, Baby. That's my job," he insisted.

"Steve," she said with an eye roll, "that's silly. I'm just tryin' to–"

Suddenly, he kissed her passionately to silence her as he began to take care of that special button all by himself. He took a pillow from the end of the couch and forced it below her, changing the angle of her pelvis. Then he began to slide in and out quickly, grinding against her clit each time.

"Mmmm…" she moaned excitedly as she felt the added stimulation.

He broke the kiss and smiled down at her. "You like that, Mrs. Urkel?" he prompted.

"Yes, Steve," she groaned. "Don't stop. Faster, Baby."

And he didn't, not until she came on his member, milking him of all his love, energy, and cum. "Oh, LAURA!" he yelled, staring intently at her closed eyes.

"Steeeeeeve!" she cried as she shivered. "Ohhhhhhhhh…" she moaned.

He rested his body on top of her, panting heavily, as she continued to shake below him. He stared at the look of pleasure on her face and felt a surge of confidence and masculinity. He was a good husband. Anyone who could make Laura Winslow moan like that had to be a real man.

When Laura and Steve arrived at the Winslow house, they were about an hour early, so they walked into the backyard and found Harriette, Carl, and 3J setting up. "Happy 4th!" Steve cheered as he saw their family.

"Happy 4th!" they all replied.

Steve let go of Laura's hand to kiss Harriette hello as Laura kissed Carl. Then they switched. "Hey, Big Guy!" Steve chirped, leaning in for a kiss.

Carl leaned back. "Boy, what are you doin'?"

"Oh," Steve said. "Well, I just thought… You know, 'cuz we're family… Never mind."

"Mm-hm…" Carl mumbled. He glanced at Laura. "What's with him?"

Laura walked back over to Steve and put her arm around him. "Steve's just feeling a little guilty because we have to leave early today."

Carl set down the materials he'd been using to clean the grill. "What?" he asked in disappointment. "But, Sweetheart, we planned this weeks ago!"

"It's going to be first time in months the whole family's together!" Harriette added.

"I know, guys, and I'm sorry, but Steve was invited to a party by his boss, and we have to go."

Harriette frowned, but she ultimately understood. "How we long do we have you?"

"Only until three. That's why we came early," she explained.

Harriette nodded, "All right. Well, I guess we'll make do." She walked by and patted Steve on the shoulder as she headed in to grab the tablecloth.

Carl wasn't as accepting, though he never was. "Can't Steve just go alone?" Carl demanded in frustration.

Laura whipped her head toward him. "Daddy!" she scolded.

"No," he corrected quickly as he saw the hurt on Steve's face, "that's not what I meant. I would rather have both of you, but you don't have to go just because he does, Sweetheart."

Steve relaxed in knowing that Carl hadn't intended to hurt him, but he grew nervous at the prospect of going to that party alone. He looked desperately to Laura.

She didn't even have to look at him to know how he felt about that idea. "I'd like to stay, Daddy, but this party is really important for Steve's career. I need to be there to support him." She paused for a moment and let her sincere answer sink in before throwing in a joke to make her dad feel better. "Plus, I am a way better party guest," she smirked, pinching Steve's side playfully.

"You certainly are," Carl nodded. "You guys are comin' over for dinner next Sunday, though, right?"

"Of course," she said. "Have we missed one yet?"

"No," he sighed. "I guess you haven't." He took a deep breath. "All right, Steve. You can make it up to me by finishing the grill," he instructed, handing him a spray bottle.

"Daddy…" Laura laughed.

"You got it, Big Guy!" Steve chirped, heading right to work. He was glad to have something to do to get his mind off of his nerves and guilt.

The rest of the family showed up on time, and Laura and Steve tried to enjoy as much quality family time as possible before they had to leave. Eventually, Steve looked at his watch and turned to Laura. "You ready to go, Sweetums?" he asked. He pointed at his watch. "It's three."

Laura took a deep breath and sighed. "No," she replied honestly. "I was having a good time."

"Well, Laura," Estelle suggested at her side. "Why don't you just go to the party a little late? I'll have Fletcher drop you off. Is it far away?"

"Not really," Steve answered. "It's only a half-hour or so."

Laura looked at her grandmother. "That's sweet, but I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking. I'm offering. Besides, it's no trouble for me. I'm just volunteering Fletcher."

Laura chuckled and turned back to Steve. "Well, would you mind?"

Steve hesitated. Yes, he would mind. He would mind very much. He needed her at his side if he had any chance of making a good impression.

"I'll just stay through dinner. We're supposed to eat at five, so I'll be at the party by six. You can handle two and a half hours by yourself, can't you?" she prompted.

It was clear to Steve that she really wanted to stay. "Of course, I can, my pet," he said as reassuringly as he could. "If you wanna stay here all night you can."

"No," she said. "No, Baby, I'm gonna be there for you. I'm just gonna be a little late, ok?"

"Ok," he nodded, trying as hard as he could to smile. He stood, and she stood with him. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her goodbye. "I'll see you later, Laura Lee," he said as he walked off to say his goodbyes.

"Six o'clock," she repeated.

When Steve got to Wes's house, he was in shock. It was huge. Sure, he had expected the owner of a company the size of ForWard to have a decent-sized house, but this was just ridiculous. He even hired valet parking for the party. He had to, really, with so many people and such a large yard. Steve tipped the valet and followed a greeter who led him through the house and into the backyard. He looked around for a moment, but he didn't see anyone he knew, so he sat down by the pool and people watched, waiting for someone to find him.

Eventually, Wes found him. "Steve!" he shouted from across the yard, jogging over to him at a light pace. Steve stood and straightened the collar on the blue polo that Laura had picked out for him. He offered his hand as Wes approached.

Wes took it and shook it excitedly. "Happy 4th of July!" he said. "How you doin', Man?"

"I'm a little nervous, to tell you the truth," he whispered leaning in closer.

"Oh, don't be. Just relax, and have fun," he said with a dismissive wave. He paused before adding, "And don't break anything if you can avoid it."

"I'll try my best," Steve croaked.

"If you do break something, hide it, and tell me about it later. Don't let Andy see you do it… Or Harry for that matter."

"Harry?" Steve asked. "What does Harry have to do with anything?"

"Well," Wes said, "Andy went to Harry last week to get some more input on your performance, and it didn't go too well."

Steve gulped nervously. "Great," he whined.

"It's gonna be fine, Steve. You're going to impress Andy tonight. I can feel it. Where's your gorgeous wife?" he asked, growing concerned that Steve wouldn't have somebody to reign in his crazy. He wasn't sure that Laura was any cooler than Steve, as they'd never met, but he figured she must be if she looked like that. Part of him was just looking forward to meeting her out of curiosity. A much smaller part of him was considering the possibility that she may not have really existed.

"She's still at her family's house. She promised to leave right after dinner, so she'll be here by six," he explained.

"I'm looking forward to meeting her," Wes said, "but maybe we should put off your first interaction with Andy until you have some back-up."

"Oh," Steve said disappointedly. "Oh, ok. Sure." That meant he could have stayed longer at the Winslows' if he wasn't going to accomplish anything here for the next couple hours.

"Grab a plate, and make yourself at home, Steve. I'll come find you a little later," he said, as he waved to someone in the distance and jogged off.

Steve sat again and continued to wait.

Wes didn't come back until 6:20, hoping he had given Laura enough time to arrive and get settled. He brought Andy with him this time and found Steve in the same place. "Hey, Steve!" he said, pretending to have just stumbled onto him. "How are you? You havin' a good time, Buddy?"

Steve stood and smiled, or attempted to smile, at Wes and Andy. "Oh, I'm having a great time," he lied. "Thank you so much for inviting me," he said to Wes. He turned to Andy. "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Ward."

"It's nice to see you, too, Mr. Urkel," Andy said flatly.

"So," Wes said, "Andy, Steve was just telling me about his latest project."

Andy turned to Wes. "What are you talking about? You've been with me for the last hour."

"Well, before that," Wes dismissed. "Tell him about it, Steve," he instructed.

"Oh," Steve's face flushed. "Well, um… It's really not all that exciting. Dr. Ford put me on a project for a new type of bandage."

"Really?" Wes asked, crinkling his nose.

"I thought you two were just talking about this," Andy challenged.

"What does the bandage do, Steve?"

"It changes color when a wound gets infected," he answered.

Andy nodded. That was an interesting prospect. He began to think about how they could market the product to hospitals as Steve continued.

"Of course, the chemicals that change the color of the bandage seem to be leading to infection at this point, so…" he trailed off nervously.

Andy rolled his eyes, and Wes winced. Steve was not good at bragging about himself.

"Where's your lovely wife, Steve?" Wes asked, hoping Steve's other half would be there to talk him up since he clearly wasn't able to do it himself.

Steve shrugged sadly. "I'm not sure. She was supposed to be here by six, but I guess she's running late."

Wes nodded. "Well, make sure you and Laura come find me when she gets here. I'm looking forward to meeting her."

"She's looking forward to meeting you both, too."

Andy nodded and walked away. Wes shrugged to Steve, mumbled a goodbye, and followed him.

When Laura actually arrived at eight, she rushed quickly through the house, feeling a terrible guilty pinch in the pit of her stomach for leaving Steve to fend for himself for so long. As she stepped out into the humongous yard, she couldn't believe her eyes. How on Earth was she ever supposed to find Steve? She began to wander aimlessly. She asked a few people if they had seen him, but none of them knew who he was. Then she asked a few people if there had been any large accidents caused by a clumsy Black man with a high-pitched voice. They gave her funny looks, but they all eventually told her no, which calmed her nerves a little bit. As she looked around for her very tall husband, she didn't even notice the short, bald man she walked right into. "Oh!" she said in surprise as she looked down on him in her heels. Laura was a relatively tall woman already, but in heels, she really gave some guys a run for their money. That's one reason she loved being with Steve. It didn't matter what shoes she wore. He was always taller than her. "Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry," she said urgently as she noticed she had spilt his drink onto his Hawaiian shirt. She grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and began to dab at it. What she didn't know was that she was stroking the chest of Steve's boss, Harold.

Harold looked up at her; speechless. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. Laura was wearing a red sundress that was a little on the tight side. It was low-cut, but not ridiculously so. She had still wanted to look ok for a family party and a semi-professional one. It was short, too, but tasteful. Harold allowed his eyes to roam from her wedge heels, up her shapely legs, past her womanly hips and voluptuous bosom, all the way up to her kind eyes. As he noticed the distressed expression on her face as she failed to get the stain out, he was struck by a sudden urge to make her feel better. He smiled softly and grabbed her hands, removing them from his shirt. "Th-that's all r-r-r-right," he stuttered. "This shirt needed a little color," he joked, looking down at the stain to avoid her eyes.

She cocked her head at him. That stutter reminded her of Steve. Though he was much older, white, and much less attractive, Laura had a special place in her heart for the underdog, and this man was clearly an underdog. She smiled at him. "Thank you for being so understanding," she said, pulling her hands away. "I can pay to have it dry cleaned or replaced. I promise."

"That's n-n-n-not n-n-necessary," he assured her.

"I'm Laura," she said, extending her hand to him.

"Harold," he said, shaking her hand. He was amazed at how soft it was, but her grip was firm and confident.

Laura heard no bell ringing in her head at the mention of that name and continued her conversation. "It's very nice to meet you, Harold, though I'm sorry it had to be like this."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Laura," he said. Laura's eyes began to search the yard again as she felt pressure to find Steve. Harold noticed this change and quickly tried to regain her attention. "S-s-so, Laura, what do you do at For-Ward?" he asked.

"Huh?" Laura replied as her brain failed to refocus on him. When it finally did, she figured out what his question had been. "Oh, I… Um… I don't actually work there. My husband does," she smiled. "What do you do?"

He swallowed hard and looked down at the ring on her finger. It was almost as gorgeous as she was. He frowned deeply and ignored the question. "You're married?" he asked.

Laura looked at him seriously and read his expression. He seemed very disappointed by that. "Yes," she said firmly. While she had immediately taken a liking to this shy goober, she had a much harder time sympathizing with him when it became clear he had only be interested in her romantically. This guy was old enough to be her father. Other than the white skin and glasses, he really didn't look all that different from her father.

"What does your husband do?" he asked, growing jealous of the lucky guy who was going to get to take her home at the end of the night.

"He works in the labs developing bio-tech," she said.

"Really? Which lab?" he asked, growing confused. There weren't very many people from his floor at this party. He was sure _he_ had only been invited so Wes could invite Urkel, but he didn't know how to prove it.

"I'm not sure," she shrugged.

"I work in the labs, too," he explained. He puffed his chest out slightly before adding, "I _run_ Lab 8."

Laura pursed her lips at his less than subtle brag. "That's nice," she said emotionlessly.

"What's your husband's name?" he probed again, sensing that she wasn't falling head over heels in love with him.

"Steve Urkel," she answered, causing Harold to spit his drink out of his mouth and cough heavily. Thankfully, he hadn't been looking right at her as he did.

Laura's eyes widened, and she patted Harold forcefully on the back. "Harold?" she asked as his coughing calmed. "Are you ok?"

"YOU'RE married to Steve Urkel?" he cried.

"You've met him?" Laura questioned, surprised to find someone who knew him at this party.

"I'm his boss," Harold stated gruffly, guaranteeing this beautiful woman understood who had power in _his_ lab.

Laura's eyes widened. "Oh, Dr. _Harold_ Ford!" she said through a forced smile. "Steve has told me so many wonderful things about you," she lied. _Way to go, Laura_ , she thought to herself. _You show up two hours later than you said you would and spend your first fifteen minutes fraternizing with the enemy._

"He has?" Harold glared.

"Of course!" Laura lied again.

"Like what?"

"Oh," Laura hesitated. "Well… Um… You know. The usual admiration of a fellow scientific mind spiel. I couldn't repeat it if I tried," she giggled flirtatiously, hoping to distract him.

It worked, too. With that sweet laugh, his eyes were drawn immediately to her breasts as they shook. "How did Urkel get so lucky?" he asked, just under his breath.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh, I-I-I… Well, I–"

"Laura Lee!" Steve yelled from behind them as he ran up to her. He grabbed her by the hips and turned her around. He kissed her passionately in relief before he remembered where they were.

Laura pouted at him. She could tell by that kiss that he had missed her terribly. She reached up and wiped her red lipstick from his lips. "Hey, Steve," she smiled. "I am so sorry I'm late."

"Don't worry about it," he said quickly before she could attempt to explain. "I'm just glad you're here now." Suddenly Steve felt the eyes burning into the side of his skull. He turned and quickly released his wife. "Oh, Dr. Ford!" he chirped. "It's so good to see you here!"

"Likewise," Harold grumbled under his breath.

"Um… Dr. Ford, this is my wife," Steve said, turning to gaze at her dreamily as he cooed her name. "Laura Lee Urkel."

"We've met, actually, Steve," Laura said. "Haven't we, Harold?" she smiled flirtatiously again.

Steve recognized the look in her eye and furrowed his brow at her. Now, that meathead across the hall was her type, but this guy? Really?

"We have," Harold blushed, looking away from her inviting eyes.

"Steve, Harold and I were just discussing how much you admire him," Laura said.

"I do?" Steve asked.

Harold's head popped back up to sneer at Steve.

"Oh!" Laura said sweetly. "He is _so_ bashful, Harold!" she cooed, covering for Steve's foot-in-mouth disorder as quickly as possible. "You two have that in common, I guess," she said, winking at Harold.

Suddenly, Steve caught on. She was flirting with Harold to smooth things over between him and Steve. Steve's eyes widened as he realized what she was doing. It was really rather clever, though a little degrading for Steve's taste, but he knew she failed to see the huge flaw in her plan. If she enticed Harold and got him to like her, that would only make him hate Steve more because that would make Steve the guy who had his girl. Steve knew that feeling well. Still, he didn't know how he could stop her now. She was like a runaway train.

"Steve was just telling me the other day that he was so excited to start his new bandage project," she said.

Harold looked at Steve. "Really?" he asked.

"Well," Laura said, "I'm sure there are more exciting projects, but it's better than the pee project."

Harold nodded. There was a reason he had given that awful project to Steve. He had hoped he would quit. Now, he had given him their most impossible project and was talking him down to Andy, hoping to get him fired. Of course, Laura knew all that.

"Maybe when Steve solves this one," she said confidently, knowing he would eventually figure it out, "you could let him pitch a project to you?" Laura batted her eyelashes at him.

Harold scoffed. Even Urkel wouldn't be able to solve this infection problem. He was sure of that. "Sure," he said, glaring at Steve. "If Steve solves this one, he can pitch an idea to me."

"Yay!" Laura cheered ditsily. "Oh, maybe Mr. Forman and Mr. Ward could even be there to hear it?"

Steve's eyes widened, and he glared at her. She was not setting the stakes low. That was for sure.

Harold raised an eyebrow at her, but her beauty blinded him to her manipulation.

"Please, Harold," she said softly, pouting subtly. "I would be so grateful," she purred.

"That's a great idea, L-L-L-L-Laura," he stammered, blushing as she begged him.

"Oh, Steve is so lucky to have you as his boss," she purred.

"He's clearly a very lucky man," he replied, glancing again up and down her body.

While Laura was more or less used to being objectified like that, Steve certainly wasn't used to watching it happen right before his eyes. Not that he hadn't seen it before, but he never got used to it. As he watched Harold's eyes lock onto his wife's cleavage, his fists clenched. "Wait a minu–"

Suddenly Laura's hand clamped his mouth shut. "Baby," she asked sweetly, "can you go get me a glass of punch, please?" She slowly released his mouth.

"No, Laura," he said firmly, refusing to leave her alone with a guy who was ogling her so disrespectfully.

Harold, seizing an opportunity, offered confidently, "I'll grab you a glass, Laura." He glanced at Steve. "You should be more considerate of your wife's needs, Urkel," he suggested before turning to find a glass of punch for his future lover.

Steve went to reply, and Laura slammed her heel down onto his toes.

"OW!" he yelped. He glared at her. "What was that for?"

Laura paused a moment, waiting for there to be more distance between them and Harold. "Steve, you cannot snap at your boss."

"He's interested in you, Laura," he argued, "and you're encouraging him."

"I know, Steve, but it's just a game. I got you a pitch meeting, didn't I?" she asked pointedly.

"You did, but I didn't like the way you did it!" he whined.

"Steve, it's not that big of a deal. This is how the world works. You can either play the game or sit it out."

"Laura, we don't need to play _that_ game. You're so much better than _that_ game."

"I barely said anything."

"You were flirting."

"I was being charming! It's not like I did a strip tease!"

"Laura," he scolded softly. The very thought both excited and embarrassed him.

"I'll dial it back a little, Steve, but we're trying to save your job here. I'm going to use every advantage we have. With Harold, that advantage seems to be that if he fires you, he now knows he'll never get to stare at my boobs again."

"LAURA!" he scolded.

She giggled and pulled him into her arms. "Relax," she whispered. "Don't take everything so seriously. You're at a party with a gorgeous woman," she explained immodestly. "Everyone here is jealous of you. Just enjoy it."

Steve smiled softly. She had a point. He hadn't had many opportunities to show her off in person yet. "Do you want to meet Wes and Andy?" he asked.

"Yes!" she chirped. "Yes, please. Where are they?"

He offered her his arm, and she took it gracefully as he began to lead her up to the deck, where he had spotted Wes. As Wes heard Laura's heels behind him, he turned. "Steve!" he said excitedly. He looked at Laura for several seconds in shock before he approached her with a charming smile on his face. "This must be the lovely Laura," he said, opening his arms to her.

She was quickly surprised as he pulled her into a bear hug. "Oh!" she said, laughing nervously. She hugged him back. "Oh, ok."

He released her and pulled back, looking her up and down, but differently than Harold had. He looked at her as if he were marveling at Steve's luck. Harold looked at her like he was picturing her on her knees. Steve could tell the difference and appreciated that he had met someone who was so respectful to his wife and marriage, even if he found it all a little surprising.

"It's nice to meet you, Laura," Wes said. "I'm Wes Forman."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too," Laura smiled, wrapping an arm around Steve's waist. "I'm so sorry I'm late."

"Oh, don't even worry about it. I'm just glad you're here now. I have been dying to meet you. Steve has told me so many wonderful things."

Laura smiled up at him. "Steve has a tendency to exaggerate about me," she warned.

"No, I don't," he denied.

"What does my breath smell like before I brush my teeth?" she asked.

He cocked his head at her. "Chocolate and lavender," he cooed dreamily.

She giggled and glanced back at Wes, "See?"

Wes chuckled. "I'd hate to hear what he thinks of your dirty gym socks. Come sit down." He moved over to a patio set and waved for them to follow. Laura and Steve sat on a loveseat, and Wes sat in a chair beside them.

"I'd like to thank you," she said abruptly, "for taking Steve under your wing. We really had a tough start, and your help has been so huge for us."

Wes smiled. "Well, I'm glad I could help. He's a good kid."

Laura looked up at Steve. "He is an incredible man, and he is going to amazing things."

Steve blushed and looked away. "Laura, stop," he whispered softly.

"No, Baby," she said a little louder. "People need to hear that about you. I want people to see you the way I do."

"Oh, this is perfect," Wes announced suddenly. "Wait right here," he said, leaping up and dashing away.

Laura looked at him as he jogged off of the deck. "What was that about?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm not sure." Steve placed an arm around her shoulder just as Harold approached.

"Here you are, Laura," he smiled bashfully as he handed her her glass.

"Oh, thank you, Harold," she cooed. "You are such a gentleman." Laura felt Steve's hand squeeze her shoulder harder and possessively as Harold took a seat in Wes's chair.

"So, Laura," Harold asked, "what do you do?"

Laura smiled and turned toward him slightly. "I'm actually still a student, like Steve is, at IOU."

"Oh, really? That's my alma matter."

"Oh, no way!" she said, feigning interest.

"Yup," he confirmed. "I graduated top of my class, too," he bragged.

Laura used every ounce of self-control she had to avoid rolling her eyes, only to widen them as she heard Steve's remark beside her.

"At the turn of the century," Steve mumbled.

Laura's elbow flew hard into his gut, spilling a bit of her punch onto his lap.

"OH!" he grunted.

"Oops," she said pointedly. "I'm sorry. Let me help you clean that off, Steve," she growled. She turned to Harold with a huge grin. "I'm so sorry, Harold. We'll be right back," she promised. Laura grabbed Steve's hand and yanked him into the house, grabbing a club soda from the bar along the way. She led him quickly and silently into the bathroom and shut the door firmly before she reeled on him. "You need to control yourself," she ordered.

"I'm not the one who's flirting with my boss!" he argued, wetting a tissue to dab at his pants.

Laura crossed her arms. "I didn't even say anything that time. I was making polite conversation. You're just being a jerk." She watched him rub at the stain on his pants and rolled her eyes. "And that's not how you do that," she said firmly. She took a washcloth from the linen closet and poured some of the club soda onto it. She knelt in front of Steve and began to dab at his groin.

Steve looked down at her on her knees and couldn't help but react, despite how upset he was. His member began to stiffen as she dabbed at his pants. She noticed immediately and smirked up at him. Steve closed his eyes and grabbed the side of the counter for support as she began to rub more directly. Once the stain was out, she gripped his member firmly over his pants. "Oh, Laura…" he groaned immediately, his knees quivering.

She massaged him gently as she spoke. "Steve, you have nothing to worry about. You are by far the sexiest man at this party. Don't be jealous and possessive. You need to be charming and fun. That's the whole reason we're here. I promise, if you're a good boy today, I will make sure you see fireworks when we get back home," she purred. She paused. "You know what? Maybe I can help you relax sooner than that." She unbuckled his pants and yanked them to the floor.

He looked down at her in shock as his member popped out at her. "Laura, what are you doing?"

"Shhhhh…" she shushed him as she gripped his member and began to stroke it. "You have to be very quiet for me, Baby," she whispered. She leaned forward and began to lick up and down his member.

"Oh, God," he breathed. He reached down and placed his hand on the top of her head, gently stroking her hair.

She moved quickly to take him into her mouth, not wanting this to take too long. She sucked strongly on the tip and then plunged forward, her full lips and nimble hands working together to stroke his full, impressive length. She looked up and met his eyes.

He bit his lip as he stared into her eyes. Her red lips looked incredible around him. "Laura Leeeeeee…" he purred softly. Her eyes twinkled up at him mischievously as she began to suck harder and move faster. "Ohhhh…" It was clear she didn't want him to last long. He continued to stare at her until he finally let himself go.

She pulled back slightly to make room for his cum as he began to shoot it into her mouth. She moaned for him as he covered her taste buds. "Mmmmmm…" She began to swallow it again and again until he was completely spent. She finally released him and looked at his softening member. She giggled softly.

He was still panting heavily as he looked down to glare at her. "Hey, you're not allowed to laugh at me when you're down there," he scolded.

She giggled again and stood. She moved close to him and placed her hands on his strong biceps. She squeezed them playfully. "I'm sorry," she laughed. "It's just… Your penis is bright red," she snickered.

He glanced down at his brown skin, smeared with her scarlet lipstick. "Oh," he chuckled. "What do we do?"

"I have makeup remover in my purse," she answered. She went to her purse on the counter and pulled out two towelettes. She handed one to Steve and used the other to take off her own lipstick which had smeared on her face. She reapplied it quickly and turned back to him just as he had buckled his belt. "Ready?" she asked.

"We didn't really get much chance to talk," he said uncomfortably.

"No, but we've been in here a while, so we should really back to Dr. Ford."

He grimaced uncomfortably.

"He is your boss, Steve. We have to be nice to him and listen to him brag about himself. Just think about me naked if you get bored," she suggested with a giggle.

"I'm more worried _he's_ gonna be thinking about you naked," he grumbled, heading toward the door.

She smirked at him. "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, he can think about whatever he wants. All that matters is that it's your big cock that's covered in my lipstick at the end of the night," she whispered.

"LAURA," he scolded. "Watch your language."

She winked at him and walked out the door, leaving him behind as he stared at her. His heart pounded in his chest as he processed her word choice. Eventually, he slipped out and caught up to her just as she was arriving back at the loveseat. She sat, and he joined her, immediately placing one arm around her shoulder and leaning in so that he could rest his other hand on her dress-clad thigh.

"Sorry about that," she smiled. "That was a doozy of a stain."

Harold nodded and glared at Steve's hand gently stroking her fit thigh. "So, Laura, you were just about to tell me what you're studying at IOU."

"Oh, I'm Pre-Law," she replied.

Harold tore his eyes away from her thigh and met her eyes for the first time in a long while. "Really?" he asked, his expression turning to a suspicious scowl.

Laura bit the side of her cheek. She hated when men underestimated her like that just because they found her attractive. She forced a smile and nodded. "Yes, really," she said. "I'm actually going into my senior year with a 3.9."

Steve smirked. He knew that bragging about herself hadn't been in her plan, but he had heard the change in her tone when Harold expressed surprise at her career path. He had seen this shift in strategy coming. The question was whether or not Harold would still be interested after finding out what a big brain she was hiding under that perfectly coiffed 'do. Not that Steve particularly cared whether or not Harold remained interested.

"Wow, that's… impressive," Harold said, still clearly suspicious.

"Thank you, Harold. I work very hard to maintain a GPA like that." Suddenly, she remembered why they were there as Wes and Andy approached. "Unlike Steve, who's just naturally gifted," she explained. Laura turned to smile at the men standing above them. Steve and Harold both stood immediately, so she stood with them.

"Andy," Wes said, "this is the beautiful and brilliant Mrs. Urkel we have been hearing so much about."

Andy reached out a hand to her suspiciously. "Andrew Ward."

"Laura Urkel," Laura said, shaking his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ward."

"Likewise," he replied. "And Andy's fine."

Laura nodded taking her hand back. "Well, then it's a pleasure to meet you, Andy," she smiled charmingly.

"Hey," Wes said. "Why don't we all grab a seat and get to know each other?" he suggested. Laura and Steve sat back in their places. Andy sat in the chair opposite Harold as Harold took Wes's chair again. Wes glanced down at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh!" Harold said as he stood again. "Why don't you take my seat Mr. Forman? I'd prefer to stand anyway," he lied.

Wes nodded and patted Harold on the back as he sat. "Thanks, Harry. That's sweet." Wes turned to Laura and Steve. "So, what were you three talking about when we interrupted?" Wes asked, putting his feet up on the table.

"Oh, well, Harold asked me about school, and I told him that I'm Pre-Law at IOU."

"Really?" Andy asked, legitimately surprised, but somehow in a much less condescending way than Harold.

"Yes," Laura nodded, "and I explained that for me, it's really hard to maintain a high GPA, but–"

"But she has an incredible GPA and works her butt off to keep it," Steve interrupted, knowing she would play modest in front of his real bosses.

"It's not that high, Steve," she blushed shyly.

"She's going into her senior year with a 3.9," he bragged.

Laura looked away as Wes and Andy admired her.

"Isn't that just about double what yours was in college, Wes?" Andy joked.

"Hey, I did just fine," Wes argued. "I just… balanced my time between school and the ladies."

"And got a 2.0 in both."

Wes chuckled and shook his head before turning back to Laura. "That's very impressive, Laura. You should be proud."

Laura nodded. "Thank you. I am proud, but what I was explaining to Harold is that it's so different for Steve. He maintains a 4.0 without breaking a sweat." Laura turned to smile at him as he looked down at his shoes. "He's brilliant."

Wes looked at Andy as if to say, "See? I told you."

Andy rolled his eyes, not particularly caring about the opinion of the man's wife.

Laura read that look clearly. "But don't take my word for it," she said. "I'm his wife. I'm a little biased. Have you ever let Steve pitch an idea to you, Andy?"

Steve raised an eyebrow at Laura. She was certainly not taking things slowly. She had hopped from an upcoming pitch meeting to an impromptu one. "Laura," he complained, "I haven't prepared anything."

"Even better," she smiled. "Show them how well you can think your feet," she whispered, loudly enough for everyone to hear. She turned back to Andy. "What do you say, Andy?"

He took a deep breath and found himself overwhelmed by Laura's charm. "All right, Steve. Go ahead."

As Andy walked away, Wes turned to Steve. He moved to say something, but then he paused. He glanced back at Harold. "Uh. Harry?"

"Yes, Mr. Forman?" he replied.

"Could you give me a minute alone with the Urkels, please?"

Harold grimaced. "Of course, Sir," he said, sulking away bitterly.

"Steve, have you told Laura about our little chat the other day?"

Steve nodded. "Of course," he replied.

"Good. I just wanted to be sure before I said this. That went great, Steve! I think you're in the clear."

"Really?" Laura asked excitedly.

"I think so."

"How can you be sure?" Steve questioned, not seeing any major changes himself.

"Andy has a tell. When he's annoyed with someone, he fiddles with his wedding ring. He was fiddling with it when we sat down, but the second Laura opened her mouth he stopped. Then he started to massage his ear when you started to pitch your project. That's what he does when he likes an idea. It means he's already thinking about the details."

"You are _really_ observant," Laura noted.

"I am," Wes acknowledged. "You have to be to be a successful business man. I've always had a gift for it. For example, Harry is really attracted to you, Laura."

Steve grimaced. "Well, it doesn't take any psychic powers to pick up on that. He's practically drooling on her," he complained.

Laura placed a comforting hand on his knee and squeezed. "He has been kind of obvious about it, Wes."

"Maybe, but I guarantee you, he'll make a move before the end of the night," he added.

"He better not!" Steve barked.

"What kind of move? I'm married."

"I don't know," he shrugged, "but he's gonna do something. He's sweating through his shirt and keeps checking his watch. He's keeping his eye on the time so that he doesn't miss his chance."

"Ok," Laura nodded unconvinced. "If you say so."

"And you two had sex in the bathroom," he continued.

Laura gasped, and Steve got suddenly very dizzy. He leaned forward to take a few deep breaths as Laura stammered. "N-no, we d-didn't do… I mean… We just…"

"Oh, so it was just oral then."

Laura's eyes widened. "How did you…? What?"

"When you came back, Steve was one thousand times more relaxed, and your lipstick had been redone. If you had just been kissing, Steve would have been on edge, but it was obvious you did something to calm him down, not get him riled up. He had clearly finished."

"I'm so sorry," Laura said quickly. "Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be," Wes said with a wave of his hand. "I'm sure nobody else noticed. I read people really well. I could tell you everything that went down at this party, but I try to use my powers for good, not evil. Believe me, you two were by no means the most inappropriate."

Laura placed a hand on Steve's back and rubbed gently as he tried to get ahold of his breath.

Wes frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry, Steve," he said. "I thought you'd be proud to have gotten a little action from this gorgeous gal."

Steve sat up a little straighter and looked at Laura. Of course, he was proud. He just wasn't one to share that part of his life with people other than his wife. "It's ok," he said eventually. "I'm just a pretty private person," he blushed.

"Duly noted," Wes said, "but, anyway, I think you did a great job, and I think you and Andy are gonna be fine. Harry's still gonna hate you, but you're not going anywhere, Steve."

Steve nodded. "Thank you, Wes. That's really good news," he said, grabbing Laura's hand and squeezing it tightly.

"I'll let you two know if he says anything to me, ok?" he said as he stood.

"Ok," Steve nodded. "Thank you."

"See you later," Wes said with a wave. "Make sure you say goodbye before you leave," he called.

Steve looked back at Laura as soon as Wes had walked away. "Well, that was… unpleasant."

She giggled. "It was, but it looks like your job is safe."

He leaned back and wrapped an arm around her again, innocently stroking the bare skin on her shoulder. He held her hand with his free hand. "For now," he agreed. "I still have plenty of things to break at the office," he joked.

She chuckled and swatted at him playfully. She took a deep breath and sighed. "So, what do you wanna do now? You wanna go home? It's been a long day."

"We can, if you want to," he agreed.

"I asked what _you_ wanted to do," she reminded him pointedly.

He nodded, taking her hint. "I'd like to stay for a while, actually, if you don't mind. I heard Wes puts on an amazing fireworks show at the end of the night."

Laura smiled. "Really? That could be fun."

"So you don't mind staying?" he asked. "Because we could go. I would be totally fine with that."

Laura shook her head. "I don't mind. I wanna stay and watch these fireworks."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she rolled her eyes.

He nodded firmly. "Ok, then we'll stay."

"Ok," she agreed. Laura took another sip of her punch and realized her glass was empty. "I'm gonna go to the bar and get a glass of wine. Do you want anything?" she asked.

"Oh, no, my pet. Let me go," he said.

"I can go, Steve," she shrugged. "It's no big deal."

"No, I wanna go. I didn't go for you earlier because of that doofus. Let me go."

"Ok," she agreed. "Red, please," she said, leaning forward to kiss him.

"You got it, Baby," he said, standing after they kissed. "I'll be right back," he added, though as he noticed the line at the bar, he turned back and shrugged. "Well, maybe not _right_ back."

"Thank you, Honey," she called as he walked away. Laura sat for a moment in silence and looked around at the house. It was huge. It was obnoxiously huge. She knew she and Steve were struggling now, but she was certain he'd make a bundle some day from some invention. Still, she never wanted a house like this. This was just wasteful.

"Hi, Laura," Harold said as he appeared seemingly out of thin air and far too close to her. "Can I sit down?"

Laura looked up at him and forced a smile. This must have been the interaction Wes had warned her about. He really was good. "Of course, Harold," she said sweetly.

He looked at her and smiled awkwardly as he sat just a bit too close. "I can't stop thinking about you studying law," he said abruptly.

Laura looked around uncomfortably. "Really?" she asked. "Why's that?"

"Well, most of the girls I meet who… look like you… aren't very bright."

Laura's jaw clenched. "That's kind of an ugly stereotype, don't you think, Harold?" she asked curtly.

He nodded. "It is," he agreed sincerely, "but I think I've just been meeting girls in the wrong places."

Laura nodded. "Well, it is really hard to meet _women_ in the city," she said pointedly.

"It is," he agreed. "And when you look like me, most girls aren't even interested in talking to me long enough to figure out if we might have more in common than I originally thought."

Laura frowned, beginning to feel sympathy for him again. "Harold, maybe you just need to give a different kind of woman a chance," she suggested. "I mean, let's face it. Even if I weren't married, I'm way too young for you."

"I know," he admitted. "You're just so beautiful, Laura. Why can't I find a woman as sexy as you are?"

"Looks shouldn't be all that matter to you," she argued.

"They're not!" he promised. "That's why I'm so impressed that you're studying law. I mean, Urkel's not a male model or anything. How did he get a girl like you?"

Laura nodded. It was a reasonable question. "Well, Steve's been there for me whenever I've needed him since we were kids. If we had met as adults, we probably wouldn't be together… And Steve could model if he weren't so clumsy. He has an incredible body," she argued.

"Would you be with him if he didn't?"

Laura took a deep breath and sighed, "I don't know, Harold. I'd like to say yes, and now that I am so deeply in love with him, I don't care what he looks like, but honestly, I may not have fallen for him if he didn't look like he does. Sexual chemistry is important." She hesitated, "But I don't know. Steve fell for me when we were in kindergarten. He couldn't've known what I'd look like after puberty, and in kindergarten, he wouldn't've cared. Maybe if you love someone enough, that chemistry can build."

"Or maybe if you hadn't turned into the woman you did, he would've lost interest," he argued.

That was a scary thought. Laura looked over at Steve in line at the bar and stared at him for a moment as she thought. "I don't think so, Harold."

"Laura, I've never even been on a date," he blurted suddenly.

Laura looked back at him nervously. "Never?" she asked.

"Never," he nodded.

Laura took a deep breath, "Wow." She paused for a moment. "I don't understand, Harold. You're not particularly shy."

"I am," he countered. "I can only talk to you because you're married so I already know I don't stand a chance." He paused and looked her up and down. "Right?"

"Right," she smirked firmly.

"Had to check," he shrugged. "When we first started talking, I was a mess."

She nodded. "I guess you were, but you have no reason to be that nervous, Harold. You're a nice enough guy. I'm sure many women… _your age_ ," she said emphatically, "would like to go out with you."

"I haven't met any of them," he shrugged.

Laura took a deep breath and glanced around. "What about here? Have you tried talking to anyone but me?"

He shook his head. "Most of these women are married, at least, the ones that are my age."

"Oh, c'mon. There have to be a few divorcées around. This is America!" she joked. He laughed and snorted which warmed Laura's heart. How did he and Steve not get along? "Hey, if I get you a date," she proposed, "will you go easier on Steve?"

Harold looked away. "I'm not that hard on him."

Laura raised an eyebrow and stared him down. "You're torturing him," she said eventually.

"You said he admired me," Harold argued.

"I lied. He hates you, Harold," she admitted. "Well, Steve doesn't _hate_ anyone, but he's not your biggest fan and drooling all over me tonight has only made him more upset with you. What did he ever do to you?"

"Married you," Harold replied immediately.

"Before you met me. You've been trying to get him to quit since the day he started."

Harold looked away.

Laura reached out and grabbed his chin. She turned his face toward her and ran the back of her hand down the side of his face like she used to do to Steve to make him bend to her will. "You can tell me," she said softly.

He swallowed hard and melted immediately. "I've been working at this company for over twenty years and have only recently gotten Wes to remember my name. Urkel gets all of his attention, and he just started."

Laura nodded. She had already known why Harold was giving Steve such a hard time. It was pretty obvious. The question was whether or not she could guilt him into changing his behavior. "Do you think his attention is undeserved?"

"Yes! He's just a kid! I've been working hard there for my whole adult life!"

"So you don't think Steve is talented?"

"Well, yeah," Harold admitted, "but talent isn't everything. Loyalty still means something. Tons of other companies have tried to poach me, and I've always said no."

Laura nodded. "Loyalty is important, but you haven't given Steve a chance to prove his loyalty to the company or to you. Steve isn't the type of guy to take credit for someone else's work or to throw somebody else under the bus, even somebody who's been hitting on his wife for a few hours. Steve would surprise you if you'd just give him a chance."

"He breaks everything!" Harold cried, running out of excuses to mistreat Steve.

Laura nodded. "Now, that he does do. I don't have an excuse for that. You just gotta learn to live with it like I have. Believe it or not, he used to be worse!"

"How is that possible?" Harold asked.

Laura shook her head. "I don't know, but he used to be much worse." With impeccable timing, a glass shattered near the bar.

"Oops!" Steve called. "I got it!" he yelled, rushing to clean it up.

Laura looked back at Harold and laughed with a small shrug. "So what do you say, Harold?" she continued. "I get you a date, and you give Steve a real chance."

Harold raised an eyebrow at her. "If it's a date with you, I'll give him a promotion."

Laura narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't be a creep. I'm trying to help you."

"Yes, Ma'am," he nodded, looking down at his feet in shame.

Laura began to scan the party for potential. She spotted a few possibilities for Harold and looked back at him. "Do we have a deal?" she asked, extending her hand.

"Sure," he said, shaking it.

"Then come with me," she prompted, standing suddenly. He stood and followed her as she walked right up to a group of women around Harold's age. She paused a few feet away and motioned for Harold to wait behind. She slipped up to the group and stepped between two of them. "Hi," she said. "Excuse me for interrupting, but I was just wondering if any of you have seen my husband?" she asked, looking for wedding rings as casually as possible. "He's about six feet tall, Black, kind of clumsy, thick glasses…" she listed, noting that three of the five women were wearing rings. She couldn't get a glimpse at the hands of the other two.

"Um. Do you mean that guy who just broke a glass at the bar?" one of the mystery women asked, revealing an empty ring finger as she pointed to the bar.

"Oh," Laura chuckled. "That must be him." She looked directly at the last remaining possibility and asked, "Where's the bar?"

The woman in purple did not move her hands as she answered. "Right next to us?"

"Oh," Laura laughed in feigned embarrassment. "Of course. Thanks so much for the help, ladies," she smiled. Then she paused and feigned shock. She reached out and took the woman's left hand in hers. "Oh, my God, I love your nail polish!" she exclaimed, noting that she wasn't wearing a ring either. "What color is this?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm not really sure," she said. "It's a bluish-purple, but I'm not sure what the official name is. It's M.A.C.."

"Wow, I just love it," she smiled sweetly as she released her hand. "Happy 4th!" she said as she pretended to walk toward Steve, taking a sudden turn back to Harold. "Ok," she said, placing an encouraging hand on his back. "The woman in orange and the woman in purple aren't married. They might be seeing someone, but you'll just have to figure that out as you go."

"Go?" he asked. "Go where?"

"When you talk to them?" Laura suggested with a question in her tone. What was confusing about this?

"Talk to them?!" he cried. "I can't talk to them!"

"Why not?"

"I thought you were supposed to get me a date!"

"I am. I did some initial scouting, and I'm going to walk you through every step," she promised.

"Can't you just talk to them for me?"

"Not if you actually want to get a date," she replied snarkily. "A 45 year-old man cannot send in a 21 year-old girl to do his dirty work. There is nothing sexy about that."

"43," he corrected.

"You are a grown man. You have to talk to them," she summarized. "Now, which one do you find more attractive?"

"They're both very pretty," he concluded. "But you're sexier," he added.

"Thanks," she said flatly with an eye roll, "but which one do you want to try first?"

"First?! I have to do this more than once?!"

"Well, the first woman might not be interested. That's why we need to line-up a back-up plan!"

"Fine! I like the one in the orange better," he answered shyly.

Laura looked her up and down. "Why?" she asked.

"Why's it matter?" he replied defensively.

"Because it might help me help you seduce her," Laura answered.

Harold looked away. "She has bigger boobs," Harold admitted shyly.

Laura cringed. "Never mind. That's not helpful." She paused to think for a moment. "Ok, here's what you're gonna do. Walk up to them like you're just hoping to walk past them, and bump into the woman in orange. Spill your drink a little, but make sure it spills on you, just like what happened with us today. If you spill it on her dress, you're done before you've even opened your mouth. Then apologize profusely. Be a little flustered. Compliment her. Tell her you saw her out of the corner of the eye, and she just completely distracted you, or something like that. Say something about how glad you are that you didn't spill anything on her beautiful dress. Ask her where she got it. Make some small talk while you wipe yourself off. If she seems like she might be interested, she's smiling a lot, laughing at your jokes, then just take the plunge, and ask her to dance. While you're dancing, ask her out."

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANY OF THAT!" Harold yelled when she finished.

"Sure you do!" Laura said. "It's all instinct. Just go for it." Quickly, she pushed him in their direction and took a few steps back to give him some space. She watched carefully as he walked up to the group and bumped into the woman in orange. She breathed a sigh of relief as she noticed that he managed to spill only on himself. Then, however, he sprinted away. Well, he waddled away, without another word, and came right back to Laura.

"I didn't know what to say," he exclaimed.

Laura looked at him wide-eyed. "Oh, my God. Go back and apologize right now. Tell her you got nervous and stepped away because she was so pretty." Laura pushed him back in that direction. She watched as he tapped her on the shoulder, and Laura saw her face light up. At least, that compliment landed. She could see, even from her position several feet away, that Harold was shaking. Laura watched as he managed to maintain the conversation and keep the woman interested. She was surprised her plan was working so well. Harold glanced back at her, and Laura mouthed, "Ask her!"

Laura watched excitedly as Harold led the woman off of the deck and out toward the dance floor. Once they got out to the DJ, Laura walked casually down the steps to watch more closely. Harold took the woman in orange into his arms, and then he started to dance. Laura watched in horror as he speedily dragged her across the floor in some sort of off-beat, awkward, waltz in fast-forward. Laura scolded herself in her head as she watched the train wreck before her eyes. _He's never been on a date, Laura! Of course, he doesn't know how to dance._ Laura said a silent prayer that the woman would find it endearing, but by the end of the song, it was clear that she didn't. Laura watched Harold ask a question, which she could only assume was proposing the date, and then the woman laughed uncomfortably, said a quick no, and moved away, leaving Harold alone, staring at the ground.

Laura took a deep breath and walked out to him. "Hey, Tiger," she said softly behind him. He jumped and turned to look at her. The heartbreak in his eyes broke her heart. "You did really well, Harold. That one was my fault. I should have asked you if you could dance first."

"I can't dance?" he asked sadly.

Laura's eyes widened. He didn't even know? "Oh, no, Baby, you can't."

His eyes landed on his shoes. "Never mind, Laura. I'm just gonna go home. Have a nice night," he said, moving to walk away. He paused as she grabbed his arm.

"Hey," she said, "I'm not done with you yet. You can't dance, but it's not that hard to learn. At least, it's not hard to learn how to slow dance." She grabbed his hand and led him further in on the dance floor. When she found a good spot, she turned to him and smiled. "Put both hands on my hips," she instructed.

His eyebrows raised. "Really?" he smiled. He was thrilled at the prospect of getting to touch her hot, young body.

"Yes," she nodded, stepping closer to him. She placed her arms loosely around his neck as he grabbed her hips firmly. She made sure to leave quite a bit of space between them, unlike she did when she danced with Steve. She jumped slightly as she felt his hands begin to squeeze and massage the skin on her hips. "Whoa," she said, pulling back slightly. "That's a little intimate, Harold. Just keep your hands still."

He nodded and blushed, looking down at her cleavage. "Sorry."

Steve, having finally gotten Laura's glass of wine, walked back to the loveseat, only to discover she had left. He looked around the surrounding area and didn't see her anywhere. He considered the possibility that she was in the bathroom and went to sit down just as he saw her red dress on the dance floor. He glared down from the deck to see who was holding his wife so close. _Of course._

"Now," she said, stepping a little closer to him, "just sway." He began to sway gently, and she followed his lead. "Good. Just like that. Back and forth. Stay on the beat," she instructed.

Steve stomped down the stairs and over to the edge of the dance floor. He wanted nothing more than to run up to them and rip her out of his arms, but he tried to keep his cool. He knew Laura must have had a reason for slow dancing with him, and he knew she wouldn't like it if he overreacted. Still, he could feel his stomach tying in knots as he watched those chubby, white hands holding onto his beautiful wife's womanly hips. He felt he was going insane when he saw how brightly and sincerely she was smiling at him.

"Ok, now let's try to get turning down. Take a little step like this," she modeled, taking the lead for a moment. As he took the lead again, she grinned even brighter. "Good. You got it. Just slow circles. Now, do you think you can move around a bit?" she prompted.

He nodded. "How?" he asked.

"Just take a little step forward. And another. And another. Now turn me a bit. And forward. And forward. And turn. And forward. And forward. And back. You get it?" she asked. "You can lead me wherever you want, as long as you stay with the beat."

He smiled softly. "I think I get it."

"You're doing great, Harold. You just need to stay relaxed. Make a little small talk. Flirt a little," she grinned.

"Your body looks spectacular in that dress," he said softly, staring down at her breasts again.

"Not with me," she scolded. She moved a hand to lift his chin. "And my eyes are up here. Most women are gonna wanna get to know you a little better before you talk about their bodies or ogle them like that, Harold."

"I'm sorry," he said, "but I can't help myself with you." Quickly, his hands slid down to her butt and squeezed.

Steve, who hadn't taken his eyes off of them, happened to be at just the right angle to see Harold's forward move, and he was having none of it. He immediately ran forward to pull them apart but tripped on a wire and face-planted.

Laura's hand came up to Harold's cheek immediately, and she slapped him forcefully as she pulled away from his grabby paws. "I'm married!" she reminded him loudly.

His hand cupped his stinging cheek gently as he looked up at her with puppy dog eyes again. "I'm sorry, Laura. I just thought–"

"Oh, shut up!" she snarled. "I've done nothing but help you tonight, despite you being awful to my husband, disrespecting my marriage, and constantly objectifying me, but you couldn't manage to be respectful to me for a three-minute song? No wonder you've never been on a date before if that's how you treat women who try to be nice to you!"

Just as Laura finished scolding him, the DJ's speakers came crashing down with Steve's pulled wire. Laura jumped back and watched the sparks flying. She looked around immediately for Steve to make sure he was safe. She saw him lying on the ground, wires wrapped around his ankles. _Oh, Baby, no…_ she thought. She took a step toward him to help him up, hoping to hide the fact that he had caused the accident, but she was quickly distracted as the lawn surrounding the speakers went up in flames. The DJ, Andy, Wes, and some bystanders she didn't recognize quickly rushed to put it out, but they were too slow, and unfortunately, the fireworks were too close. Laura ducked as, all at once, they began to explode. Some of them shot high in the sky. Some of them, being that they weren't set up yet, shot straight out. Chaos ensued as people ran for their lives. Laura ran to Steve, arriving only after several people had trampled him. She knelt at his ankles and pulled at the wires to no avail. "Baby, can you stand?" she asked urgently as she yanked the wires out of the ends of the speakers and the plugs from the outlets, fearing the fire may spread to them soon if they weren't burned by an explosive beforehand.

"Just leave me, Laura. Make sure Harold's ok," he suggested bitterly.

Laura rolled her eyes and pulled hard on his arms, forcing him to stand. She helped him catch his balance when he was fully upright and placed an arm around his waist to guide him as he began to hop to safety. They followed the crowd as they watched the rest of the fireworks go off in terribly dangerous directions. However, Laura had to admit, Steve was right. They were gorgeous. If they ever got invited to this party again, Laura was excited to see the show as it was meant to be displayed.

When it was over and the fire was out, guests began to disperse. Many of them were headed home. Laura helped Steve sit down on the deck stairs and knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, preparing to start a conversation about what he had seen, but Wes interrupted before she had the chance.

"Hey, guys," he said softly as he knelt by Steve's legs. "I saw what happened. I found some wire cutters."

"Did Andy see what happened?" Laura asked.

Wes looked down at Steve's ankles as he began to cut into the wires. "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

Laura looked up at Steve disappointedly, but he was nearly emotionless. Laura turned back to Wes. "Do you think… Do you think it's over?"

Wes took a deep breath and looked away as he made the last cut. "I think so," he sighed as he stood.

Steve spread his legs again, relieved to be free of his confines and looked down at his shoes.

"I don't think I can talk you out of this one, Steve. I mean… I'll try, but this was pretty bad. People could have really gotten hurt."

Steve nodded, but said nothing.

Wes placed a hand on his shoulder, and Steve finally looked up at him again. "Whatever happens, it has been a pleasure working with you. You're going to do great things, Steve Urkel. Stay in touch," he insisted with a reassuring squeeze.

Steve stood and nodded, forcing a soft smile. He extended his hand. "Thank you for everything, Wes," Steve said. Wes shook his hand but then pulled him into a long hug.

When Wes released him, Wes turned to Laura. He kissed her cheek softly and said goodbye as he headed off to deal with the fallout.

When he was out of sight, Steve sat back down and rested his head in his hands, massaging his temples. Laura slowly sat beside him. "Are you mad at me?" she asked softly.

Steve took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm not happy with you," he admitted.

"Don't you think you should give me a chance to explain?" she prompted.

"If you have an explanation, sure…" he said, looking back at her.

"Steve, we were just dancing," she promised.

"He grabbed your butt!" Steve yelled.

"I know," she agreed, "and I slapped him. If you had waited one second before leaping into action, none of this would have happened. I slapped him and reminded him I was married. Then I scolded him for objectifying me and treating you like dirt. I didn't want him to touch me there, Steve. We were just dancing, and then he groped me."

"You slapped him?"

"Yes," she promised.

"You slapped my boss?" he asked hesitantly.

Laura cringed. "Oh, yeah, I guess I did."

Steve laughed, snorted, and shook his head. "I never stood a chance," he sighed as he wrapped an arm around her.

Laura rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I guess I probably shouldn't have slapped–"

"Oh, no, my feisty filly," he interrupted, "you did the right thing. Thank you for standing up for me… and for yourself." He kissed the top of her head and inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. He stroked her side as he concentrated on her inviting smell. "Why were you dancing with him?" Steve asked, though he didn't really want to know.

"I was teaching him how to dance because I was trying to teach him how to pick up women because that 43 year-old man has never been on a date," she answered, sharing the information as quickly as possible.

"Never?" Steve asked.

"Never," she nodded.

"That's…"

"Pathetic?" she offered.

"Well, yeah, but that's also… sad."

Laura nodded and pulled away to look into his eyes again. "I know. I just wanted to help him out and make things a little easier for you at work, but he just… Well, maybe there's a reason he's been alone for so long," she suggested.

"Maybe," he nodded. "Speaking of which, where did that pervert go? He and I need to have a few words before he cowers home," Steve growled.

"No," Laura said quickly. "Not until you're officially fired. For now, there's still a chance for a Hail Mary."

Steve looked back at Laura. "Oh, no there's not, Sweetums. I'm done for."

"Probably," she admitted, "but Wes is pretty convincing, there's a chance that–"

"No, Laura," he said firmly. "Please, don't get your hopes up. I can't stand disappointing you."

Laura frowned at him and grabbed his face. "Hey," she said softly, "you could never disappoint me."

He turned away. "Oh, c'mon, Laura. That's not true. You're disappointed."

"I'm disappointed, but I'm not disappointed in _you_. I don't want this to happen, but if it does, I know we'll get through it. I know _you'll_ get me through it. Nothing has changed, Steve. No matter how many accidents you cause or jobs you lose, I will always love you. You will always take care of me. You will always be a good husband. I will never be disappointed in _you_ ," she promised.

"What are we gonna do, Laura?" he whispered.

"You want the real, practical answer?" she asked.

He nodded.

"We're gonna sign-up for married housing at IOU. We're gonna wipe out our savings and maybe use our credit cards to scrape by in August and pay the fee to break our lease. We already have all the furniture we need. Whatever we can't fit in our tiny, studio dorm, I'm sure my parents will let us store in the basement until we can get out on our own again. We'll make it work, Steve."

"But, Laura, have you seen the married dorms? They're–"

"They're dorms, Steve," Laura finished for him. "That's all. They're dorms. They're not that bad."

"But compared to where we've been living…" he grumbled.

"Yeah, compared to that gorgeous, brand-new apartment, they're disgusting," she admitted, "but who cares? We had a great few months in a wonderful apartment, and we'll have a wonderful year in a tiny, dingy dorm. It doesn't matter where we are, Steve, as long as we're together."

"Promise?" he asked, meeting her eyes again.

"'Til death do us part," she promised, leaning her face close to his. He placed a shaky hand on her cheek and stroked her smooth skin as he pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. It wasn't until they were interrupted several minutes later that they finally broke apart.

" _Ahem_."

Steve pulled away from Laura and released her cheek. She reached out immediately and wiped as much of her lipstick off of him as she could. They both stood to greet Andy.

"Mr. Ward," Steve said.

"Mr. Urkel," Andy replied. He turned to Laura and held out his hand. "Laura."

"Andy," Laura greeted, shaking his hand gingerly.

Andy put his arm around the waist of the woman standing next to him. "Steve, Laura, I'd like you to meet my wife, Andrea."

His… wife? For the first time in his life, Steve Urkel was on the other side. This woman, Steve realized, was way too hot to be Andy's wife. She was about Andy's age, but she had held up much better to the ravages of time. She was very fit, but she had voluptuous curves. Her breasts were big, but didn't look fake, and she had an hourglass figure. She wore a dress that Steve, with his limited knowledge of fashion, could only believe was top of the line, and it was very much in style because it looked like something he could have pulled right out of Laura's half of the closet. Her hair and makeup were tasteful but hip and clearly took effort. "Your wife?" he asked, puzzled.

"So you're… Andy and Andy?" Laura asked, trying not giggle.

"Yes," Andy smiled, "but she normally sticks with Andrea."

"Plus, I spell Andi with an 'I'," she added, extending her hand to Laura. "Nice to meet you, Laura."

"Nice to meet you, too," Laura smiled. She was not shocked at all by Andrea's appearance. Most rich guys had hot wives if they wanted them. In fact, Laura was a little surprised that she was actually Andy's age, but Laura didn't know the full story.

Andrea extended her hand to Steve who stared at her blankly. Laura elbowed him, and he snapped out of his trace, grabbed Andrea's hand, and shook it hard and fast. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Andrea!" Steve chirped. "Steve Urkel."

Andrea pulled her hand back, barely managing to rip it away from Steve, who clearly remained flustered. Andrea turned to Laura. "Laura," she proposed, linking her arm in hers, "why don't you take a walk with me while the boys chat a little?"

Laura looked back nervously at Steve. She didn't really want to leave him alone if he needed support, but he clearly and decisively waved her off. It was obvious he didn't want her to be there for his moment of shame. She nodded. "Ok," she agreed, beginning to walk off with Andrea. She turned for a split-second to mouth the words, "I love you," before continuing away. Steve smiled at her and mouthed the words back, though she was already facing the other direction.

Andy took a seat on the step and waited for Steve to join, but he didn't. "Have a seat, Steve," Andy prompted.

"Yes, Sir," Steve said, sitting at his side, prepared to take his licks. He knew he deserved every one of them.

"I saw what happened," he said. "You caused a pretty big accident."

Steve nodded. "I know, and I'm very sorry," he said.

Andy shrugged. "It's not my house."

Steve looked up at him and furrowed his brow. "What?"

"Well, I hope you've apologized to Wes, but it's not my house, so what do I care?"

"You're not firing me?" he asked.

"Not yet. No," he answered.

"Why not? Isn't this the kind of thing that you don't want happening in the labs?"

"Oh, God," Andy breathed. "Never do anything like this in the labs!" he ordered. "The insurance hike alone…" He shook his head and shivered at the very thought. "But I don't think this is gonna happen in the labs."

"You don't? Why not? I'm a klutz. There are explosives in the labs. I've blown plenty of things up before!"

"I'm sure you have," Andy nodded, "but this one was different."

"How?"

"Well, I highly doubt Harold's ever gonna grab your wife's ass in the middle of the lab, and if he does, I won't just be firing _you_."

Steve looked at him. "Oh, you _really_ saw what happened," he said sadly.

"Yeah, I did, and I know why you reacted the way you did," he replied.

Steve stared at him. "Well, could you enlighten me? Because I really don't. I mean, I knew Laura wasn't really interested. I should have known she'd never let him touch her like that, but I still leapt into action like it was Brad Pitt grabbing her!"

Andy chuckled. "Did you see that slap she gave him? It was a doozy."

"No, I didn't. I had already face-planted." Steve smiled softly, "But I've been on the receiving end of some elbows. I'm sure that girl can slap a creep so hard his head spins."

"I think that's a fair assessment," Andy laughed.

Steve cocked his head at him. Andy was laughing at his jokes now? "What's going on, Andy? Why are you being so… nice to me?" he asked nervously.

Andy cocked his head right back. He didn't see it? Andy looked ahead and found Laura and Andrea in the yard. He pointed at them, standing and talking. "Steve, look at our wives. Aren't they beautiful?"

Steve smiled at the two women. "They certainly are."

"Now, look at us," Andy instructed.

Steve looked down at himself and then scoped out Andy.

"How did we get so lucky?" Andy asked.

Steve smiled softly as he finally began to catch on. "I don't know."

When Laura and Andi walked off, they started by chatting about mundane things, like the party, clothes, and hair, but soon, Laura stopped Andi in her tracks and turned to her. "Andi," she asked, "what's going on over there?" She tilted her head to subtly point at Steve and Andy.

Andi smiled. "You have nothing to be nervous about, Laura," she promised. "They're just talking."

"About what?" Laura asked.

"About us."

Laura looked back at Steve and Andy. Andy was pointing at them. "Why are they talking about us?"

"Look at us, Laura. We're all that's ever on their minds," Andi smiled.

Laura smiled, too, and glanced back at her sweet, adoring husband before following Andi as she continued to walk around the yard. It was much easier to make it through the crowd now that almost everyone had left.

"A lot of people look at me and Andrea, and they think she's my second wife, that she's who I traded up to when Wes and I first got rich."

"Is she?" Steve asked nervously. The same thought had run through his mind.

Andy frowned at him. "No, we met in college, and I certainly wasn't rich at the time. I was at Yale on a scholarship. Her family had a little money, but I came from boxed mac and cheese and couches we found on garbage day."

"How did you meet?" he asked. "It doesn't sound like you two would have been running in the same crowd."

"No," he replied. "Definitely not. We were in the same math class, and she sat by me because we were placed in alphabetical order. She was studying English at Yale, so math wasn't exactly her favorite subject. She flunked the first test, and she glanced over at my paper and saw that I'd gotten an A. That was the first time we talked. I had noticed her the first class, because she was so hot, but she hadn't given me the time of day because I, well, wasn't. Plus, she had a boyfriend at the time. She asked me to tutor her, and I agreed immediately, even though Wes and I were so busy trying to get the company up and running that I had no free-time. For her, I made time. A few months later, that idiot dumped her a couple hours before one of our lessons, and she called and cancelled on me, telling me she was sick. I got chicken noodle soup and rushed to her dorm. She thought it was so sweet that she invited me in, despite the fact that she wasn't actually sick. I let her cry on my shoulder for a while, and then, in one of her stages of grief, she jumped me. She took my virginity that day and looking back, I know I shouldn't have let her. She was on the rebound, but damn, I am so glad I did. After that, she tried everything she could to get rid of me, but I was in love, and I wasn't going anywhere. I begged her to be my girlfriend for six months while I watched her date jerk after jerk. Eventually, one of her boy-toys got annoyed that I was always there and punched me in the face. She yelled at him, dumped him, and took me to the ER. She took me back to my dorm that night and asked why I was so persistent. I told her that I'd never met anyone like her, that I loved her, and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She just shook her head at me and led me inside my dorm. We made love again, and after that, as hard as it was for me and everyone else in the world to believe, she was all mine."

Steve smiled. Though his and Laura's story was a little different, he was able to relate to many of those feelings.

"So how did you win Laura over?" he asked.

Steve chuckled. His story was even more miraculous. "She and I met in kindergarten."

"Kindergarten?" Andy exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, Buddy. Buckle up. This is a long ride."

"So Andrew told me that Harold grabbed your ass today," Andi said as she and Laura sat down on the now empty deck with two glasses of wine.

Laura rolled her eyes. "Yes," she said. "I was trying so hard to be nice to him, but he just seemed to take every little act of kindness as an invitation," she complained.

"Yeah, he does that," Andi agreed.

"What?"

"Oh, yeah… Made a move on me once, too."

"Seriously? I thought nobody in this company even knew who he was?" she asked.

"They don't," Andi agreed, "except for me. Every year, around Christmas, Wes and Andy throw a huge party for literally everyone at the company. A lot of _these_ parties are just for the execs, but the Christmas party is for everyone, which is why Harold is always there. Every year, he tries to talk to Wes and Andy about moving up in the company, and every year, they ignore him. One year, I got sick of looking at those puppy dog eyes, and I decided that I was going to cheer him up. We spent the night talking and eating and actually having a really nice time, but at the end of the night, I went to hug him goodbye, and he kissed me!"

"Oh, my God, what did you do?"

"I slapped him," she laughed, "like you did. I'm married to the co-owner of the company; it was such a stupid thing to do."

"How is he still working here?" Laura asked. "If Steve had the power to, he would have fired Harold on the spot!"

Andi nodded. "Andrew would have, too, but I never told him about it."

"Really? You kept that from him?" Laura asked, uncomfortable with the idea of lying to Steve about something so serious.

"I didn't want Harold to get fired, and he's never tried anything again. Andrew is just such a jealous guy. I didn't want to start a fight over something so silly."

Laura nodded. Though she didn't think she could ever hide something like that from Steve, – she had tried and failed before – she understood the impulse. "How do you deal with the jealousy?" she asked.

"It's tough," Andi admitted. "I will never understand why some people try to make their spouses jealous on purpose. I don't take it as a compliment when Andrew thinks I'm about to jump some other guy."

Laura nodded. "I know. It's really kind of insulting! Why can't they just trust us?"

Andi frowned. "Look at us, Laura. You know why."

Laura took a deep breath and sighed. "Fine, I know why, but I hate it. Steve has nothing to worry about. He's the love of my life."

Andi smiled. "I promise, even though the jealousy never goes away, they get better with age."

"Fifteen years?" Andy asked as Steve finished his story.

"Yup."

"Fifteen years!" he repeated.

Steve nodded, "Mm-hm."

"Oh, you poor kid," he laughed, patting Steve's back.

Steve smiled and waved dismissively. "Ah, it was nothing… and it was so worth it."

Andy smiled. "That it is."

"How do you deal with it, Andy?" Steve asked eventually.

"Deal with what?"

"All of it. The jealousy, the fear, the rude comments from people."

Andy nodded. "You're never gonna stop feeling this way," he said. "At least, I haven't. Sometimes I still feel like she's too good for me and that she's just a good pick-up line away from running out on me, but when we're alone, I can just feel her love radiating off of her. I can just feel how much she cares about me. That's enough for me. I can live off of that. For every moment I spend at the grocery store, watching the butcher flirt with her, there's a moment where we're putting the groceries away, and she pinches my butt for no reason other than because she wants to. Being with her is so worth all the other crappy moments that you just let them roll of your back. They bother you in the moment, and then you're home, and she's in your bed, and it all goes away."

"Once," Andi laughed, as she and Laura traded stories of their devoted husbands, "Andrew hired a marching band to play our song at a football game."

Laura chuckled. "That's pretty good, but I can top that."

"How?" Andi laughed.

"Steve once hired a marching band to play for me in my living room!"

"What? When? You've only been married a couple of months," Andi exclaimed.

"Oh, no," Laura corrected, "this was way before we were even dating!"

"Of course, it was," Andi laughed with a shake of her head.

"And when he blew that whistle, they came out of every corner of my house!"

Andi burst out laughing.

"I don't know how he got them in there, I don't know how long they had been waiting, but I'd been home all morning! To this day, I don't know how he did it," Laura continued. "He ended it with a huge banner that said, 'Will you go out with me?'"

Andi wiped the tears from her eyes and caught her breath. "Please, tell me you at least went out with him after all that."

"Girl, please," Laura exclaimed. "Shallow-me at 16? I shot him down shamelessly, and he blew that whistle again, and they marched right out the door. They nearly trampled my father!"

"Oh, Sweetie, you must feel awful," Andi said with a shake of her head.

"I do," she agreed as Andi patted her knee.

"So, you're really not gonna fire me?" Steve asked as Andy stood.

"Not yet," Andy agreed as he glanced around for his wife.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Ward," Steve said, wrapping his arms tightly around his new best pal. "This job is all I have to keep Laura happy. I need it so much."

Andy hugged him back quickly and pulled out of his arms. He began to walk out into the yard to look for their wives as Steve followed. "No, it's not, Steve. Laura loves you. I'm glad we're still going to be working together, but you don't need this job to keep her happy. You need this job to keep you happy."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, following at his heels.

"Men like us feel better when we can spoil our wives. Our wives don't actually care about any of that."

"Ohhhhh…" Steve said as he began to understand his point. "You may be right. I do feel better when Laura wears a necklace I bought her or she comes home to flowers."

"I _am_ right. I've been in this situation a lot longer than you have, Steve. You'll understand it all much better as time goes on." He turned abruptly and led Steve toward up the stairs to the second-floor deck. He walked over to the ladies, seated on a couch in candlelight. "There's my girl," Andy grinned as he walked up to his wife with open arms. He sat beside her on the couch and kissed her cheek.

"Hey, Handsome," Andrea replied, placing a hand on his knee.

Steve sat on the other end of the couch beside Laura and tucked her hair behind her ear. He placed an arm around her and leaned in to her to whisper, "All's well, my love."

Laura smiled. "I knew it would be," she purred, pecking him on the lips.

"What were you two lovely ladies chatting about?" Andy asked.

"Our dedicated husbands," Andrea replied.

"Oh, really, and what did you learn?" Andy continued.

"Well, Steve snuck a whole marching band into Laura's living room when she was sixteen, so I think you need to step up your game."

Andy's brow furrowed. "How do you _sneak_ a marching band anywhere?" he asked Steve.

"It wasn't easy!" Steve said. "Did you tell her how that was followed by the biggest food fight in Vanderbilt High's history?"

"No, I didn't," Laura laughed.

Laura and Steve continued to tell Andy and Andi stories about their bizarre past until Wes walked up almost an hour later.

"Hey," he said, as he took a seat in a chair beside Steve. "I thought you all went home."

"No," Andy said, "Steve and Laura were just telling us their life-stories."

"Really?" Wes asked excitedly. He leaned forward slightly and took a shot in the dark. "So what do you think about my protégé now?"

Andy cleared his throat and said, " _Ahem_. Well, he's a real klutz and a huge insurance liability, but he's a smart kid and might actually make us some money someday."

"Woo!" Wes cheered with a loud clap, standing to pump his fist in the air. He sat back down and turned to Laura and Steve. "I don't know how you did that, but that is the best review of an employee I've ever gotten out of him!"

Laura raised an eyebrow at Andi who nodded in agreement.

Steve smiled and stood, offering a hand to Laura. She took his arm, and he kissed her cheek. "All right, Sweetums. Why don't we quit while we're ahead then?"

"I think that's a good idea," she laughed. She pulled away from him and hugged Andi, Andy, and Wes. Steve shook their hands, giving Andi a hug when she opened her arms to him. Laura took Steve's arm again after they had said their goodbyes, and he led her downstairs and through the house. They walked out to the porch, and Steve gave his ticket to the valet who went to find Laura's car. Steve wrapped an arm around Laura's waist and pulled her into him. "I love you more than anything," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Baby," she purred, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him passionately, kicking one foot up behind her. Feeling gutsy, he reached down and grabbed her butt. They both jumped and pulled away from each other when they heard a voice behind them.

"Laura," Harold said softly.

Laura placed a hand on her pounding heart as she pulled away from Steve. She turned to look at Harold. Steve took a step forward once he saw who it was, but Laura placed her hand firmly on his chest and stopped him in his tracks. She glanced back at him, a warning clear in her eyes. He had just gotten his job secured. He couldn't blow it now.

"Yes?" she asked flatly.

"I-I j-j-j-just wanted t-t-to apologize," he said.

She folded her arms across her chest. "I'm listening," she glared.

Steve placed and arm around her and lowered one hand back to her butt. He grabbed it firmly, turning her and pressing her into his hip so that Harold could clearly so who was allowed to touch her there. Laura glared at him, clearly annoyed by his possessiveness, but he didn't care, and she didn't pull away.

Harold stared at Steve's hand, squeezing her butt so tightly it was likely to leave an imprint.

"Harold," Laura barked, "do you have something to say or not?"

He looked back at her eyes. "I'm sorry I touched you inappropriately, Laura. I've never touched a woman there, and you're just so… perfect I couldn't resist."

"Bullhockey!" Steve exclaimed. "You could've resisted. I resisted grabbing her there for fifteen years. You're just a pervert!"

"Steve," Laura scolded under her breath. "You can't talk to him like that."

"I certainly can if he's going to treat my wife like a piece of meat! Newsflash, Bub! These buns," he cried, squeezing her butt again for emphasis, "are not on the Dollar Menu at McDonald's!"

"Steve!" she scolded again. "He is your _boss_!"

"Well, anyway," Harold said, "I just wanted to say I was sorry." He stared at Laura for a long moment and then turned to walk down the driveway.

"Harold," Laura called softly. She felt Steve squeeze her more firmly, and she pulled out of his arms pointedly as he bit the side of his cheek hard in frustration.

Harold turned back, and Laura stepped closer to him. "Yes?" he said hopefully.

"I hope you've learned something from this experience. From what Andrea has told me, it doesn't sound like this is a new behavior for you. It doesn't sound like this just happened once when you lost control, not that that would make it ok. It's certainly not ok," she said firmly. "Still, I really believe that people can change, and I believe that you're a decent guy, deep down, but you can never do anything like that again, Harold. I'm married. I made it very clear that I wasn't interested in you that way."

"You were flirting with me," he argued. "You were slow dancing with me!"

"I was being nice," she replied. "Women can be nice to you without it being a come-on!"

Harold looked down at his feet. "I understand. Maybe it doesn't matter now, but I won't do anything like that to you again," he said. "I promise."

"To anyone, Harold!"

"Right," he agreed. "To anyone."

"If you really mean that," Laura replied, "and you really follow through, maybe we'll see you at the next party."

"I'd like that," he smiled.

Laura nodded, still not smiling and stepped back toward Steve just as the valet pulled up. Steve took the keys from him, tipped him, and opened the door for Laura. He closed her door and opened his own. He paused before getting in. "I'm going to talk to Wes and Andy about changing labs," he said. "They may not go for it, but I think that'd be better for everyone."

"No, Urkel," Harold said. "Don't do that."

"Why not?" Steve asked with a disbelieving, gentle shake of his head.

Harold looked at Laura in the window. "I promised Laura I'd give you a real chance, and I'm going to."

"Harold," Steve said, "I don't feel comfortable working with you anymore."

"I understand," Harold said with a nod. "Do what you have to do."

Steve and Laura drove home in silence. It wasn't a frosty silence. Neither one of them was really mad at the other, but they were both exhausted from the rollercoaster of a day they had just had. Still, when they entered the apartment, there was something nagging the back of Steve's mind. "Laura?" he said, stopping her before she walked back to the bedroom.

She stopped in the hall and turned back to him, sitting beside him on the couch. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she answered.

"What's the difference between Harold and Waxman?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, cocking her head.

"You were much more forgiving to Harold than Waxman, but he really violated you more. I don't understand why you would even give him a chance to explain himself, let alone consider forgiving him."

Laura nodded. She didn't completely understand it either, but, "There are a lot of differences, Steve. Waxman was married. He was my boss. He threatened to fire me. He was even older than Harold. He met me when I was much younger. He took advantage of Myra. I think that was really the last straw for me. I was upset with him before that, but poor Myra. God, Steve, you two never went to second base, right?"

Steve's eyes widened. "Of course not! Laura, yours are the only… breasts I've ever touched. I promise."

"Relax, Steve. I wasn't accusing you. I was just double checking." She paused and took a deep breath. "That means that the first guy to ever touch her intimately was her creepy, old boss who threatened her job. Steve, even with you, the first time, I felt so vulnerable. I can't even imagine that."

Steve nodded and put an arm around her shoulders. "Ok, yeah. Waxman is worse," he sighed. "But Harold's still awful, Laura. You shouldn't have been so forgiving."

"I didn't forgive him. I just made it clear that he doesn't have to be one of those guys. Waxman was too far gone. He had a loving wife, and he still wanted younger women to fool around with. Harold's just lonely and desperate."

"And creepy, Laura!" Steve stressed. "He grabbed you."

"I know, and that's not ok. I made it very clear that that's not ok, but that doesn't mean he can't change, Steve."

Steve reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I just want you to be safe," he whispered.

"I know," she whispered back. "I know, and I appreciate that, but sometimes, I just have to let things go, Steve."

He nodded. "Ok," he sighed, "then we'll let it go."

She smiled softly. "We will?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "We will. I know I don't have anything to worry about in the Harold department."

Laura laughed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, God. You _reeeeeally_ don't."

He smiled softly. "Then we'll let it go."

"Thank you," she said, leaning in to kiss him.

He placed his hands on the back of her head and held her against him, kissing her back passionately. When he finally released her, he stood and offered her his hand. She took it and stood beside him. He got behind her and began to walk with her back to the bedroom. They turned the lights off on the way, and just as they stepped over the threshold, Steve's hand slapped Laura's butt hard.

She jumped, barely catching her balance again in her heels. She gawked at him and placed her hands back on the sensitive skin on her butt. "What was that for?" she giggled, rubbing it gently.

He bit his lip and looked at her. He walked toward her and got behind her again. He kissed her neck as he squeezed and petted her butt. "Nothing," he whispered. "I was just reminding myself how lucky I am." He smirked to himself. "You could bounce a quarter off that booty," he purred, pinching her butt.

She jumped again and laughed, turning around to face him. She kissed him and replied, "As long as you're the one doing it." He grabbed her butt firmly and lifted her into his arms. She giggled as she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he jumped with her onto the bed.

Steve showed up to work an hour early Tuesday, knowing that Andy would already be in, even if Wes rarely came in before eleven. He knocked on his office door, realizing that Andy had also beaten his secretary to the building.

"Come in," he called.

Steve entered and tried his best to smile at Andy.

"What's that face for?" Andy asked, barely looking up from the paperwork in front of him.

"I need to talk to you about something, if you have a second."

"Sure, Steve. Grab a chair," he said, finally looking up at him.

Steve sat and twiddled his thumbs nervously. "I need a favor and I wanted to come to you because I think you'll understand."

"Ok," he said. "What is it?"

"I want to transfer labs," Steve said, leaning forward to explain himself, only to be interrupted before he began.

"No."

"No?" Steve asked. "Andy, I can't work with Harold after what he did."

"Yes, you can, and you will, or you'll find another job."

Steve's brow furrowed deeply. He thought they had left things on better terms. "I don't understand, Andy. I thought you and I were ok."

"We are, but I'm not letting you transfer for such a silly reason. Harold may be a bit of a jerk, but he's good at his job. That's what matters here. I can't take disciplinary action against him, or rather, insist that his direct supervisor do so, for something that he did on his free-time at a personal event."

"I don't want you to take disciplinary action. I just want a transfer."

"No."

"Why not?!" Steve demanded louder than he had intended to.

"Because if I give you a transfer for a personal reason, I'll have to give everyone transfers for personal reasons," Andy explained.

"No, Andy, this is a special circumstance."

"It's not. It just happens to be your circumstance. I'm sorry, Steve."

Steve took a deep breath and stood. "You know, I would have thought that you, of all people, would understand this."

"Sit down, Steve," Andy insisted as he was almost out the door.

"Why?"

"I'm not done talking to you."

Steve returned to his chair and sat.

"You need to get used to how the world works," Andy lectured. "There are certain things you can protect your wife from and certain things that you can't. You couldn't have known what Harold was going to do. It's not your fault."

"I know that," Steve agreed. "I don't blame me. I blame him! That's why I don't want to work with that pervert anymore!"

"Fine, but I'm telling you that's not an option. I am a business man, and that does not make sense to me as a business man. As a husband, I understand how you're feeling, and if Harold were to become a real problem, I would do something about it, but for now, it doesn't make sense for me to do so."

"Laura said he kissed Andrea!" Steve blurted out.

Andy's brow furrowed. "When?"

"When? Why does it matter when?"

"At the Christmas party a couple of years ago?"

"You know? Why on Earth is that man still employed?!" Steve cried.

"Because he's a good scientist, Steve! He made a move on Andrea, just like he did on Laura, and he got what he had coming to him. Let's face it, Steve. Our wives can pretty much take care of themselves."

"If you had acted on that when it happened, he never would have touched Laura!" Steve argued.

"Steve, if I fired everyone who made a move on my wife, I wouldn't have any employees left!"

"Sure, you would! They'd just all be women and me!" Steve concluded.

Andy laughed, "And while I'm sure that kind of diversity would get us some great media attention, it's not a smart way to run a business."

"Is that all you care about?" Steve asked, deeply disappointed.

"No," he replied sincerely. "I care about my wife, and I care about your wife, but they're both fine, Steve. Is Laura even upset?"

"No," he admitted, "but just because she's used to that kind of treatment doesn't make it right."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed. He moved to say more, but there was a knock at the door. Andy took a deep breath. "Don't move," he said to Steve, before calling loudly, "Come in."

Harold walked in and glanced nervously at Steve. Steve glared back at him furiously. Harold looked away and back at Andy. "Um. Mr. Ward, I just wanted to… Uh… tender my resignation."

"Why's that, Harold?" Andy asked.

"Um… The way I behaved at Mr. Forman's party with Mr. Urkel's wife was… unprofessional."

Steve scoffed, and Andy shushed him, "It certainly was."

"And… Um. Laura said something to me that really… made me think about my behavior. I think I need a fresh start," he explained.

"What did Laura say?" Andy asked.

"That she really believes people can change, and I think that I might need to," he said.

"I think so, too," Andy said. "That's why I'm not accepting your resignation."

"What?" Steve and Harold asked quickly in unison.

"You can learn a lot from Steve, Harold, and he can learn a lot from you. I think it's important you continue to work together."

"Mr. Ward, I don't think Urkel particularly wants to do that," Harold said.

"Oh, I know he doesn't," Andy corrected, "but you could learn a lot from him. He's a good man." He paused dramatically. "But let me be clear, Harold," he continued. "You already have two strikes. I didn't make them official or anything, but I guarantee you, if there's a third, I will find a very official reason to let you go and ensure that you don't find other employment."

"Yes, Sir," Harold said nervously.

"Dismissed," Andy barked. Harold jumped and practically ran out the door. Andy turned back to Steve. "I take his actions very seriously, Steve, but I think people can change, too. I think you'll be a good influence on him." Steve stared back silently. "And you're going to learn a little bit about self-control from having to work with him." Steve still didn't say anything. "So, are we ok?"

Steve took a deep breath and sighed, "You're the boss." He stood and adjusted his suit.

"I'll see you at your pitch meeting this afternoon?"

"My pitch meeting?" he asked, stopping in his tracks.

"Yeah. You'll be pitching an idea to Harold, Wes, and me this afternoon. I liked what I heard at the party, but you've got to make an official presentation."

"But I haven't prepared anything!"

"That's what you're doing this morning. You're off the bandage project. Harold got a memo on all of this."

"Oh, well, then I guess I have some work to do."

"Good luck, Steve," Andy smiled.

"Thanks," he said, heading out the door,

When Steve got home that night, Laura was already there. "Honey, I'm home," he called as he set his briefcase down.

"Hey, Baby," she smiled as he came up to kiss her on the cheek, just as she was plating their dinner. "You're home late."

"I know. I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "No big deal. Did you have a good day?"

He pulled her into his arms and held her against him. "I had a very good day," he smiled.

"Really?" she grinned back. "Why's that?" She had expected him to be grumpy about working with Harold all day.

"I asked Andy to transfer me to a different lab, but he said no."

"Oh," she said, cocking her head at him. "Ok…?"

"Then he told me that I was going to officially pitch an idea to Wes and him this afternoon, and I did."

"You did?" she asked excitedly. "What did you pitch? What did they think?"

"Fireproof wireless speakers," he said, looking off into space with a grand hand gesture.

"What?" she laughed, as his gesture knocked her out of his arms.

"So that what happened the other night can never happen again," he explained.

"And they liked it?"

"They loved it! Plus, between writing my pitch and the meeting, I solved my bandage problem after they'd already taken me off what they thought was an impossible project!"

"Really?" she asked.

"Yup! So that's two wins in the Urkel column today," he chirped.

She stepped back into his arms and looped hers around his neck. "I'm glad," she said, "and I'm very proud of you."

"Oh, it's nothing, Laura."

"No, Steve. I'm proud of you. You're working hard, and it's paying off. You are going to do amazing things."

Steve blushed, and he looked down at his feet. "Aw, shucks," he smiled.

"What do you say we slip these plates back in the oven so they stay warm while we… celebrate?" she suggested, smiling flirtatiously. She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him passionately.

"Wowza!" he rasped.

She pulled out of his arms with a giggle and placed the plates in the oven. She grabbed his hand and began to lead him back toward the bedroom. "Come on, Dr. Urkel. Let's do some experiments of our own," she grinned.

When they were done, Laura lay comfortably on Steve's chest. He gently stroked her back, right over her spine. They lay in silence, just enjoying the feel of each other's bodies, until the phone rang.

 **.**

 **.**

Steve sat up as Laura pulled away from him. He leaned over and picked up the phone. "Urkel residence!" he chirped. "Steve Urkel speaking!"

"Steve!" a cheerful voice called on the other line. "This is Gary Waterton of Waterton Tech. How are you on this fine summer evening?"

"Oh, Mr. Waterton," Steve said, looking back at Laura with a look of confusion on his face. Laura, not remembering who that even was, just shrugged. "I'm fine, Sir. How are you?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm all right, except for the fact that I heard you joined one of our biggest competitors. How is everyone at For-Ward?"

"Um. They're good. I really enjoy working with them," Steve said, glancing at Laura again, who was of no help because she couldn't hear the other end of the conversation. She shrugged again, giving Steve an idea. He put the phone on speaker phone, but held it close to his face, so it wouldn't sound like it on the other end. He lay down, facing Laura, propping his head up on his other hand.

"I'm sure you do," Waterton replied. "Listen, I think Waterton Tech may have made a mistake in letting you slip through our grasp."

Laura, finally catching up, covered her mouth to suppress a squeal of delight. Steve was getting poached!

As Steve finally caught on, his heart started to pound, and his mouth went dry. "You do?" he asked.

"Yes," Waterton said firmly. "I know I was playing hardball with you, but I didn't realize that Forman had pegged you as one of his protégés. He just throws money at those guys, willy-nilly!"

"He did make a generous offer," Steve acknowledged.

"I'm sure he did. I can do better. I've heard that you've already got a couple of wins over there, but I want your next invention to be patented under my company's name. What will I have to do to get you on my side?"

"Well, Mr. Waterton, I have a contract," Steve explained, suddenly realizing why everyone had wanted him to sign one.

"I know, but if you fax me a copy, I'm sure my lawyers can find a loophole."

Steve bit his lip nervously. Laura, reading the look on his face, was no longer excited about this. Steve wasn't the type of guy to just up and leave people who were treating him well, and For-Ward was finally treating him well. She reached out a comforting hand and stroked his cheek. She smiled at him warmly.

"I don't know, Mr. Waterton. I made a commitment. I'm not really comfortable–"

"I'll double your current salary," he said flatly.

Steve's jaw dropped. "Oh, well… I… Uh… That's very generous of you, but I'm not interested in signing a ten-year contract at the moment."

"Fine. Five," he offered. "I'd go lower, but I'm trying to poach you, Son. If you take my offer, I have to be a little weary of your loyalty. Plus, keep in mind, our company does have a Boston office. I know that was important to you."

Steve looked at Laura. That was very important to him. "I'm gonna have to think about all of this, Mr. Waterton."

"Fine," he said. "You have two weeks, but that Monday morning, I'm gonna need an answer."

Steve heard only a dial tone. He set the phone back in its cradle and turned back to Laura. "What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"I want you to do whatever you want to do," she said.

"No, really," he pressed. "I want your opinion. Should I take the money? That's a lot of money."

"He still wants you to slow down your degree, though, right?"

"Yeah," Steve acknowledged, "but that's a lot of money."

"It is, but that doesn't matter if you're not gonna be happy."

"I want you to be happy," he said.

"I am happy," she promised, moving closer to him. "Why would you say something like that? Do I not look happy?"

Steve wrapped his arms around her. "No, you do. You look very happy. It's just… I want you to stay that way."

"Steve, money is not what's going to make me happy. You can't honestly believe I'm that shallow," she said, growing a little hurt.

"I know you don't _just_ need money," he said, "but having money makes everybody a little happier."

"Sure, Steve," she said, "if we won the lottery tomorrow and never had to worry about money for the rest of our lives, we'd both quit our jobs and school and move to a deserted island where all we had to do all day was swim in the ocean and make love."

"Oooooo…" he cooed. "I like that plan."

She giggled, "But that's a little unrealistic."

"Maybe a little," he agreed.

"You just need to think about which of these jobs is going to make you happier. I'm fine either way. We have a home. We have enough money for clothes," she joked, as he laughed, snorted, and kissed her forehead. "I just want my husband to be happy."

"Ok," he agreed, "then I'll think about it."

"I will support you, no matter what," she promised, looking deeply into his eyes.

"How did I get so lucky?" he asked.

"It wasn't luck. It was persistence," she reminded him, "so I know that no matter which path you choose, you are going to build an incredible life for us at the end of it, no matter what."

Steve was touched by her sentiment and wanted to show her just how touched he was, so he kissed her passionately. He climbed on top of her again and made love to her one more time before dinner.


End file.
